The Art of the Handshake – Why It’s So Important
This post has nothing to do with fitness, but I think it’s something that is absolutely crucial to being successful in life. A few months back, I took a personality profile for my job (which was ridiculously accurate) and it told me that although I tend to judge people almost immediately, most of the time I’m right. I thought it was weird for a computer program to tell me this after twenty questions, but I’ve come to realize that the computer was pretty freaking accurate.
What’s the first thing you do when you meet somebody? You shake their hand. Now, I don’t claim to be all knowing, but I firmly believe that you can tell almost everything you need to know about somebody from the initial introduction and handshake.
Quick story: One night a few months back my friend Jacque told me that she was bringing her new boyfriend Ben with her to the movies. Our group of friends was standing around as the couple showed up; Ben walked right up to us and introduced himself, gave a firm handshake, and looked us square in the eye. Within five seconds I knew Ben was a good guy. Now four months later, I’ve actually got a chance to know Ben and he’s awesome. Good handshake, good intro = good first impression = good person. Not a coincidence.
Now, contrast this with a jackass who looks disinterested, doesn’t bother introducing himself, won’t look you in the eye, or gives a “cold dead fish” handshake. Immediately I think ‘chump.’ They say first impressions are lasting and I agree. I’m sure you can overcome an initial poor showing in the handshake department, but why start yourself out in the hole?
Let’s talk about three basic scenarios where you could seriously screw yourself with a crap handshake:
Job interview = Employers like to see confidence and intelligence. If you walk into a job interview (in shape), big smile (that’s not fake), firm handshake, maintain eye contact, and remember the guy’s name? You’re golden. Well maybe not guaranteed, but I like your chances much more than the slob who shows up and gives a handshake like he’s cradling a baby bird. Project a confident attitude, be courteous, and you’re one step ahead, which is big in today’s job market.
At a bar = If you’re meeting new people or friends of friends at a bar, make the first move and introduce yourself. Immediately you’ll come across as the confident guy who knows how things work. Don’t be a wall flower; meeting new people is always nerve-wracking but you can make it immediately less awkward by working your way into the new group by giving a good intro and great handshake. If you suck at remembering names, repeat the person’s name immediately when you meet him or her.
- Her: “Hi I’m Gertrude.”
- Me: “Gertrude? Hi Gertrude, I’m Steve. Nice to meet you.”
If you can use the person’s name a few times right away, it will be stuck in your head. Plus, if you meet a girl named Gertrude, you’re gonna want to remember that so you can make fun of her immediately.
Meeting your girlfriend’s parents = Let’s be honest, if you’re about to meet your girlfriend’s parents, you need to start off on the right foot. Remember, this is daddy’s little girl, and he wants to know his kid isn’t dating some loser, and her mom wants to make sure she’s not dating a delinquent. If she’s “the one,” this might be the most important handshake of your life. Look the man in the eye, use his last name, “Hi Mr. Blahblahblah, I”m Steve. Nice to meet you.” You’ll also score major points with Mom if you’re polite; you want her to call you “that nice young man,” not “that waste of space.”
Remember: firm handshake, look the person in the eye, introduce yourself, and repeat their name back to them when you hear it. It’s amazing how many people don’t bother to care about remembering somebody’s name, so when you DO remember it you’ll score major points with the new people.
If you have 8 minutes to waste today (and you do, it’s Monday morning)…here’s a funny video that teaches you all about a proper hand shake. “You may lack the talent, charisma, and good looks it takes to get ahead, but at least now it’ll take people longer to figure it out!”
-Steve
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