Real-Life Role Playing: What is Your Profession?

What do you want to be when you grow up?

Today, let’s delve deep into the nerd aspect of Nerd Fitness and turn life into a giant role-playing game.  Why?  Because it’s damn fun, nerdy, and quite applicable.  If you’ve played World of Warcraft, Everquest, Final Fantasy, or practically any fantasy-based RPG this article will feel right at home.

If you have no clue what I’m talking about, this will still be a fun exercise for you.

Let’s get started.

Your Race is Already Determined

Before you pick your profession, let’s talk about your “race.” Every RPG always has elves, hobbits, ogres, trolls, humans, wood elves, night elves, etc.  Each race has their own particular attributes that make them who they are.  Take a look in the mirror RIGHT NOW.  That’s your race.  300 pounds overweight, 50 pounds underweight, average, tall, short, beer gut, 6-pack abs, etc.  These are attributes about yourself that you cannot change immediately, so that’s your starting point.  Depending on your “race,” certain professions will be easier or harder for you to obtain.

Here’s an example: If you are an ogre (really tall and quite overweight), it’s going to be more work for you to become a really good Assassin (Parkour traceur), but if you’re willing to put the time in, anything is possible.  Maybe you’re an elf (incredibly thin) and you want to be a super-strong Warrior.  You’re going to need to spend months and months eating insane amounts of calories and lifting heavy weights to get results, but it is possible.

Make sense? Good!  Let’s check out the different professions.

Warrior

Lego Warrior

This tank is incredibly strong and powerful, pushing weight like it’s his job.

Which is good, because it IS his job.  If you ever see any battle, warriors are the first responders, defending their party while attacking the enemy.  Strong as an ox, Warriors constantly try to push themselves to be bigger, better, stronger.  Eating and lifting are the only two things Warriors worry about.  You do NOT want to go punch for punch with a Warrior.  You will get destroyed.

Primary attributes: Strength, power

Training: Pure strength-building weight training.

Real life example: Any World’s Strongest Man competitor.

Scout

Lego Scout

Scouts can cover great distances in a short amount of time.

Built for distance and efficiency rather than strength and power, these guys can outlast any animal on the planet.  They eat a diet higher in carbohydrates than most (though they can still be healthy carbs!) to give them enough fuel to survive these grueling treks cross-country, and their muscles are designed to last for hours rather than minutes or seconds (like a Warrior).  A growing contingent of scouts have moved to barefoot running, returning to their ancient ancestral roots.

Primary attributes: Stamina, endurance.

Training: Lots of distance training, long bike rides, high volume exercises with any sort of weight training.

Real life example: Marathon runners, Ironman athletes.

Ranger

Ranger Lego

Rangers are a hybrid of Warriors and Scouts, built for strength AND endurance.

A jack-of-all-trades but master of none, Rangers are well-equipped for any situation.  Their weight training revolves around varying the reps, sets, and downtime to continually force those body to adapt to new situations.  Usually Rangers follow a Paleo Diet, eating things that can only be found in nature.  Thanks to this type of training and diet, Rangers have incredibly low body-fat percentages.

Primary attributes: Functional strength, adaptability.

Training: Lots of weight training but with minimal downtime (think crossfit and 300 training).

Real Life example: Gerard Butler in 300.

Assassin

Lego Assassin

To assassins, the world is one giant playground.

Every building can be climbed, every gap can be jumped, every obstacle can be conquered.  Assassins spend most of their time training with functional body weight exercises as that’s usually the only thing they need to lift.

Fearless, calculated, and efficient, Assassins have low body fat percentages because extra weight could mean the difference between life and death on a mission.  They have solid endurance as well, allowing them to progress through an obstacle-filled environment without breaking a sweat.

Primary Attributes: Agility, stamina

Training: Parkour, free running, rock climbing.

Real World example: Parkour traceurs, free runners, most athletes on Ninja Warrior.

Monk

Lego Monk

This isn’t the type of monk you’d want to run into on a bad day…

These monks can kick your ass with their fists and feet, and they will do it before you even knew what happened.  Incredibly agile, lightning fast, and loaded with power, Monks specialize in martial arts to stay in shape and destroy the opposition.

Training is mostly spent in dojos and in the ring, with some weight training thrown in to help produce stronger punches and kicks.  Monks only carry enough weight and muscle to provide maximum efficiency with each attack.  Muscles are compact and powerful, core strength is high, and speed is favored over size.

Primary Attributes: Agility, power

Training: MMA, Capoeria, Muay Thai boxing, Tai Kwon Do

Real life example:Georges St. Pierre (MMA fighter).

Druid

Lego Druid

Druids are one with nature.

Oftentimes consuming a plant-only diet, they specialize in being one with themselves, finding balance in everything.  These peaceful folk spend a majority of their time training in the arts of yoga, meditation, and tai chi.  Strength training is only done if necessary, as  most druids aren’t interested in massive muscles or explosive power.  Druids also follow a minimalist diet, high in vegetables, fruits, and nuts.  Some eat meat, but only enough to get sufficient protein.  Processed foods are the enemy.

Primary attributes: agility, flexibility

Training: meditation, yoga, tai chi

Real life example: Yogis, tai chi instructors

My Profession

Lego Berserker

I was born an elf (thin, tough to build muscle), and I want to be a Warrior/Ranger hybrid…let’s call it a Berzerker class?

I’m generally a pretty happy, calm, goofy guy.  But when I’m in training mode, I turn on berserker mode: I start foaming at the mouth, I walk around with this crazy look in my eye, and I push myself hard than I ever thought possible.

I focus on lift like squats, deadlifts, presses, handstand push ups, pull ups, dips, and chin ups.  I vary my rep range and downtime between sets to build strength, power, and muscle size.  I mix in assassin (gymnastics) training and monk (capoeira) training whenever possible.

Sure, it’d be a much quicker path for me to become a scout (as I already have the body type), but I love getting stronger and training in things that I truly enjoy, so I picked a different direction.

Why?

Because I can, and because it makes me happy.

How About You?

Profession

Leave a comment with your current race and what profession you’d like to be. 

I picked six classes up above to keep things simple, but let me know if I left out one that should be in there.  Feel free to combine two classes like I did as well.  Just so we’re clear: all classes are gender-neutral, so you can be a female warrior or male druid.  There are no restrictions!

Once you have your profession selected, feel free to join us in the Nerd Fitness message boards (it’s free!) and join up with your guild!  

Want to take things a step further?  

Check out Rising Heroes, a game/program/community of sorts we’re developing around this very idea…

So, I ask you: “What is your PROFESSION!?”

-Steve

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Photo: KennyMatic, Lego berserkerWarrior Lego, Scout Lego, Ranger Legos, Druid Lego, Lego Assassin, Lego Monk, Lego Profession

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  • Althia

    Currently training to be a Ranger, but hoping to be a Ranger/Assassin hybrid. I think a lot of us here were born as Elfs, (skinny and tall here, a lot of my friends and family of friends say I should be a model. For some odd reason all the Asians I meet say that.) so I feel right at home! Love the site, its really prevented me from going to the Dark Side (but they do have cookies…) and helped me realize that fitness isn’t just for the overweight or the athletes. It can be for the geeks and nerds also.
    P.S. Parkour is awesome.

  • http://twitter.com/trilbydork Ian Morrison

    I fantasized about being a Warrior growing up but I think I want to be a Ranger. Personality-wise, though, I’m kind of a Hobbit. :p

  • wal11

    I’ m gonna be an assassin/monk because people said I never could being a 226pound football player and all. Does anybody know how to start

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  • http://www.facebook.com/colin.reahr Colin Reahr

    Well I’m a giant arse freekin’ Ogre, but you know what? I want to be an Assassin when I grow up. Maybe a bit of Warrior/Monk. Thinking some Shadow Warrior shiz.

  • System32

    Went from a 5’8″ 205lb. monster ass warrior with lifting maxes around 350lb.-500lb. to a 5’10″ 180lb. lean mean machine assassin. My maxes have dropped a bit, but I’ve kept up most of it with free weights. Every since I started working on my Endurance and started doing more body weight workouts, I just kept on slandering down. What would you call an Assassin/ Warrior class?

  • kreleia

    I’m a hobbit. Yep. I’m short and have a tendency to be heavy thanks to naturally muscular thighs (that are currently overwhelmed with bad lifestyle) and wide hips. I don’t eat like a hobbit, but there’s no mistaking the resemblance in body type. I want to be a Ranger/Druid. I’m already running, and working on my endurance and speed that way, but I want to have that strong musculature that will require some weight training as well. I also really enjoy a good Yoga session for the stretching and the meditative state. So… a peaceful Ranger? …okay, yeah, that sounds about right. :) Very much me. I’d rather that everyone get along, but I also want to be ready for anything.

  • RyukoKahuma

    I’m a hobbit (short and chubby lol), and I want to be an assassin. Not going to lie, I love my food, and I usually pick the lasiest route when it comes to making food. But I will be starting a partial paleo diet ASAP.

  • zellie

    I’m an elf who’s already a pretty good scout, but I want to be an assasian.

  • http://www.facebook.com/tommybadlock Rich Wright

    orc would be my race im a brute but will the skills of a monk, druid,ranger, and warrior i need to lose about 55 pounds to be at my target weight but i find that i have a hard time working out ,do to my strength i can do things but my muscles tire easily so i may need muscle suplements (protein, health supplements) so i will need to find a balance in what i eat and how i work out im rather low on the income totem pole right now but am trying to find work as well as go to school so i hope for the best

  • http://www.facebook.com/tommybadlock Rich Wright

    i consider my class as warrior priest

  • Vlala

    I would say I am a human scout/assassin. I am not thin nor very large, rather average sized with a desire more so improve my tissue ratio rather than change what my current weight literally is. I say I am a scout because my fitness strength is running. Just yesterday I went on a run with my friend that was a couple miles long and got it done in less than 20 minutes. I am a generally fast runner with a lot of stamina if I find the right pace. I also say I am an assassin because I don’t weight train anymore, rather I spend a lot of time doing push ups and other body weight dependent exercises. I am currently up to 40 pushups, which is saying something coming from a girl who couldn’t do more than 5 at one point.
    Looking forward to honing my skills. Longer distances, more reps!

  • Embyr

    Puny Human? I guess? I dunno, this whole list your positives thing, I suck at it. I need to stop being so self-deprecating, but I just can’t help it. I’m not TERRIBLY overweight, I mean I don’t really look it. I’m not very strong or very fast. Can I be a monk-ranger? I used to take karate and I wanna get back into it. And leveling up my strength and endurance would be good too. :P

  • Vlala

    When I saw this picture I about lost it, picking your race in front of the guards in real time is actually maddening lol. Gets a good laugh :3

  • Gaston

    Hi i´m new, first of all this is the first time i came across such a good idea and inspiration as well, i don´t know how to thank you for doing this, you really make me think in a complete new way, i really appreciate it.
    About race and profession race it will be like an ogre but not that tall (1,77 metres) and profession i didn´t see it but it will be like like scout and wizard.
    To explain a little better it will be
    Wizard
    “knowledge can move rocks” with this profession that will happens, priorize inteligence and explores the unknowing (studying things athypical or not very popular), this toll will grant this profession great skills and to properly apply it´s knowledge it will have to concentrete on his body too
    Primary Attributes: Intelligence,
    Training: Basics on the elementals (Water: swimming; Wind: Meditation, Earth: Tai Chi, Fire: Burning training ; run, bycicle, push up, Light: if knowledge is power, then light will be read books play chess, backgammon, etc.)
    Real Example: I really know any taht has more or less this profile, but thats better reason tobecome one right?

  • Aden

    A few years ago, I was a hobbit on a diet (think smeagol). On the other hand I was 13. Over the past few years I have grown into a human partway on the path of a ranger. To further my progressions I joined cross country, and more importantly, the wrestling team. Now I am captain of both. I went from a stick who couldn’t pack a punch, to a warrior/monk who can hold his own against almost any opponent. I left my start as a dwarf who couldn’t walk a mile to an elf mix who travels long distances with relative ease. My profession is, as it was before, scholar (e.g. scientific researcher), with some dabbling in multiple crafts.
    My goal race: Man/Elf halfbreed
    My class: Fighter.My profession: Scholar
    My quest: All of them.

  • http://www.facebook.com/aj.hanson.7 AJ Hanson

    Awesome post! I’d say I’m a human (boring I know). I’ve been CrossFitting on my own for 3 months, so I’d be a Ranger since I want to be fittest overall. I’d like to throw some Assassin in there as well since I love the gymnastics/body weight movements as well. So Ranger/Assassin Hybrid- Thinking of calling it either Dúnedain Ranger since Aragorn was pretty good on his feet or Dragon Knight since you’d need to be pretty agile to ride a dragon, but with the strength of a warrior, and endurance to go long distances.

  • animus

    im 5’9″ 240 lbs and very strong what would my race be?

  • Bradley

    Assassin Druid. I am a Rock Climbing Vegitarain whom avoids all processed foods, avoids lifting more weight than I require and aim to maintain a low body fat percentage. I also love to cycle alone and be with my own thoughts. Maybe a Elven-Human hybrid, I am slim, lean but I am only 5’6″…humans can get saucy with elves right?

  • marinik

    I’m a monk and i think i’ll remain the same. is that bad?! i try to use more my intellect , tact and preseverance rather than force…

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  • Michael Day

    Dwarf (short, stocky build). Going for Ranger. Like strength training and cycling, but haven’t done either for way too long. Also would like to do some assassin/monk stuff someday if I ever have time…

    Cycling dwarf.. That is one funny mental image.

  • http://www.facebook.com/wanderlustmaverick Josh Oxborrow

    I’m gonna say im a Pandaren (dota anyone) tank who wants to multi class into a tarzan (str, dex and con) ive always wanted to be able to move everywhre and while i am limber and surprisingly coordinated im fat enough that i dont have the strength do to do what my mind can see me doing.

  • Madigan

    I’m probably just a human class. 5’11, 220 pounds, and cant come up with any other race for myself. Currently, the warrior class would fit me best, but I dont want to be that. Im looking to train to become a cross ranger/assassin. I want to have the strength and endurance of the ranger; and the speed and versatility of the assassin. I’m thinkin “rogue” would fit best for that hybrid :D. Yup, I like it. Rogue it is!

  • Meg B

    I feel in some ways that I’m a hobbit for my race. Love to eat, shortish, and at times I appear lazy. I want to go for a mix of druid and ranger, as I love my tai chi but want more strength and endurance.

  • Matt

    I’m in a similar place (except I’ve only got about another 30 lbs. to go — I’m down 45. Eat right and work out faithfully, and it’ll come off.

    If your muscles tire easily, you probably are more suited for intense, fast paced workouts rather than marathon running/cardio. If you don’t like/have trouble working out, find something you enjoy doing and do that! Ultimate frisbee, backyard football, whatever, as long as you’re moving!

    I’d suggest start by doing 40 yd. sprints and bodyweight exercises. It doesn’t have to be a 45 minute workout, as long as you get your heart pumping HARD for a few minutes and end up soaked in sweat.

  • Matt

    Also, diet’s different for everybody, but what I’ve found best is eating a reasonable (and very moderate) amount of carbohydrates, but TONS of protein. I like to fill up on green vegetables, then hit it with protein (chicken, eggs, etc.), then finish off with a small amount of carbs.

  • Madigan

    Dragon Knight sound pretty cool. I want to be a ranger/assassin hybrid as well, and I was thinkin “Rogue” fit best. Rogues have the adaptability and endurance of the ranger, and the cunning, stealthiness, and acrobatics of the assassin.

  • http://psychopixie.wordpress.com Julia Mathias

    Also feel like a hobbit, sort of short and stocky, kinda lazy (especially with physical activity) and really love food. Right now I want to became a druid, and already started on my yoga.

  • http://www.facebook.com/eisenwill William Helmke

    Definitely a Dwarf. Short (5’7″), Broad Shoulders, short legs, and stronger than I look. Aiming for to be a ranger.

  • http://www.facebook.com/svendlarose Svend la Rose

    I’m a Warrior type.

  • Ophelia

    My race would be an ogre, I think. I’m a girl and my body fat percentage is 27.3%. I want to train to be a hybrid of a ranger and monk. :)

  • Ophelia

    Just to add, I want to lower my body fat percentage to 23%. But it’s just so damn hard. :) There’s progress, but I want to see more. I’m on my first day of Paleo. So far, so good. :D

  • obvioustroll

    Svend, you are too fat to be a Warrior type

  • Devon

    I think I might be a half-elf (male), 6’1″ and 142 lbs, I can gain muscle and stamina pretty easily, but it’s always lean-muscle. I’m looking to become a ranger/assassin hybrid, which I shall henceforth call the “Reaper” class because it sounds freakin’ awesome! ;D Looking forward to getting in shape with all of you.

  • Alexander Queen

    Name: Alexander Queen
    Race: Human
    Stats: 6’3 240lbs
    Class: Hybrid Assassin/Ranger or as I like to call it Vigilante

    Why: because how awesome would it be to be The Green Arrow or Batman

    What I do: I already go Rock climbing and kayaking along with the cross-fit training that is Insanity. I also found a local group of Parkour enthusiast that I want to check out

  • Frantastic

    I am totally aiming for ASSASSIN!!

  • The Strongest Karate

    I’m a Human male; 5’10 and 150lbs. 28 yrs old.
    Monk for me, but with a few points in Ranger too.
    I am a trained martial artist who enjoys running. Currently I’m working on my core and upper body strength and flexibility.

  • Pan

    I want to be a Ranger like Batman. I’m 6’6″ and 224 pounds. I’ve leaned out since starting Paleo months ago but I haven’t been working out. I want to be well balanced and ready for anything.

  • MattK

    So I guess I’m a small elf of a guy (5’8″ and 110 pounds) and looking to become an assassin monk – I’m taking up archery so I definitely need some strength, but I also want to get back into martial arts (ex-Druid) and maybe consider parkour.

  • http://www.facebook.com/MonicaRenee144 Monica Entinger

    I’m probably an out-of-shape scout/ranger combination. In the past I’ve done endurance events and trained like a scout, but I’m actually kindof hobbity in the sense that I’m short and stocky. I’m currently going paleo and looking to increase my strength, so I’d say I’m going for an IN shape scout/ranger combination that’s more heavily balanced on the ranger side.

  • JazzyTe

    I wanna be a druid monk!

  • http://twitter.com/Entheniel Marie

    I am definitively a human, and I am heading out in the wide world training to be a monk. Because I recently figured out that I LOVE boxing. :D

  • Meryl

    I’m a druid through and through, although I’ve only just started yoga. I can’t be doing with all that huffing and puffing and getting sweaty.
    Super strong and flexible. Thinking more Yoda-like :)

  • Big Boy Bergz

    At 6 foot 275 I am guessing I actually have a choice between Human Ranger (go Strider!) and Human Warrior (Skyrim Nord style!). After reading this spectacularly enlightening new way of seeing myself I think I am going to go with the Ranger. I enjoy versatility and am always ready to adapt to suit the situation. I am also 35 with a occasional back issues (thanks to my front) and a left knee that prevents me from running too far or fast or at all. But, with this new paradigm and employing interval training I think there is a chance that I will actually look and feel like a give a shizz about myself by sometime next year.
    LETS DO THIS!

  • BZ

    I’ currently a scout (10 years + of marathons, ultra-marathons and a few Ironman races in the past few years – rubbish at all three disciplines though) – Gone Paleo now to become more Ranger like and get into Crossfit, but want to grow up to be a Ranger/Scout

  • http://www.facebook.com/ryan.page.908132 Ryan Page

    I would have to say that I am probably Orc (think Elder Scrolls) a little bit of a belly but strong with some Muscles…and I LOVE being a Ranger.

    Crossfit is my life! as is Martial Arts, so I guess that I am a Ranger/Monk mix.

    My favorite thing in the world is to toss around my kettlebell…

    I am going for a Leaner Orc…Maybe more like a Redguard (still Elder Scrolls)

  • Nova

    Race: I think I am something of like a grunt. I have a powerful physique but I have been bogged down with weight ever since childhood. I am considered mildly obese, just over the 30% body fat rating. I have average height at around 5’9. Not tooting my own horn or anything but I have a good looking face. Just saying, this face combined with physical perfection will make the ladies swooooooon.
    Profession: Vangaurd (Assassin + Monk)
    As I said my body is pretty strong, and I want to take full advantage of that as a Vanguard. My strentgh comes in handy here but I weigh too much for my goal so I have to really lose the pounds, which would allow me mobility and speed as well as stamina to fight or reach destinations faster. Im a sensation seeker and adventerous at heart and I love the thought of traveling so the Vanguard seems perfect for me.
    Primary Attributes: Agility, Stamina, Power
    Training: Parkour and Martial Arts. Muay Thai preferably but the soft style of martial arts is highly appealing as well.

  • Melinda

    I’m a Hobbit and want to become a Monk/Assassin hybrid