I tend to be wordy with articles on Nerd Fitness.
With now 680 articles published, there’s a LOT of information to wade through.
So every once and a while I like to change things up, and provide you instead with the world’s quickest advice column. If you’re currently struggling with leveling up your life, consider this your wake up call!
I’ve already done two of these on getting healthier (here and here), so here’s one on getting happier.
Happiness
I’m not happy. Change something in your life, or change yourself.
What do I change? Pick one thing and change it. Report back with results.
I’m overwhelmed. Deep breath. Pick one thing. Change what you are in control of right now.
Will more money make me happier? Yes, but only up to a certain amount.
What’s more important than money? Time. Time to spend time with people you love or doing things you love. You can never get it back.
more Time
I don’t have enough time to get stuff done. You have poorly managed priorities.
But there’s so much to get done. Do less. Say “no” to more things.
But I have [obligation]. It’s either a “hell yeah” or a no. Clear your schedule.
But I might offend [somebody] by saying no. That’s on them. Better to not go than go and not want to be there.
But the timing isn’t right. The timing is never perfect. If you wait for the perfect moment, you’ll never do anything. A month from now, you’ll wish you started today.
Love
How do I make a good first impression? Look them in the eyes. Smile. Talk slowly. Stand tall. Wear clothes that fit.
Should I ask that person out? Yes.
What if he/she says no? Then you’re in the same spot if you did nothing, except now no regret.
What do I say? “Hey, I think you’re cute/beautiful/stunning. I’m [name], can I buy you a cup of coffee or a drink sometime?”
I have anxiety now! Use 20 Seconds of Courage.
I’m in a bad relationship. Get out.
What if I never find anybody better? What if you find somebody way better? What if you get hit by a bus tomorrow?
I got dumped. I’m heartbroken. But it’s still ticking, which means there’s hope for you yet.
Should i…
But Steve, none of this is that easy. I know! If it was, everybody would be happy with everything!
I’m not the type of person who does ___. Stop sabotaging yourself with self-limiting beliefs. You aren’t the type of person who does ___ until you do it. Now you are.
This won’t work for me. Okay! Keep doing what you’re doing.
But what I’m doing isn’t working. If you always do what you’ve always done, you’ll always get what you’ve always got.
Damn you, Steve. We’re either growing and changing, or we’re dying.
When should I start? Right now.
What other short questions do you have?
I’ll be hanging out your questions in the comments below as quickly and succinctly as possible!
-Steve
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Photo sources: Working, Amazing, Time Machine Clockwork, the giving of flowers, rain doesn’t stop a photographer.
This is fantastic!
What can I do to become more disciplined?
I hope you don’t mind me replying @jasonmccleery:disqus but I think this article could have some useful advice for you: http://www.nerdfitness.com/blog/2012/10/08/willpower/
Willpower is finite: http://www.nerdfitness.com/blog/2012/10/08/willpower/
I try not to rely on motivation long term either, i work on slowly cultivating discipline, and minimizing the amount of brain power I need to use to keep me from doing something bad or from doing something good:
http://www.nerdfitness.com/blog/2014/10/30/is-motivation-useless/
Thanks guys!
You still make me smile, Steve. Even after all these years :0)
great post, thanks!
Efficiency at its best
There’s a great book on the subject called “The Willpower Instinct.” I recommend it.
This reminds me that I put off getting started on a new video project this morning. I’m going to go bash out the outline now.
This IS fantastic! Thank you!
Love it! I think I’ll make a big colorful poster of this and put it in my house as a reminder. Thanks, Steve!
Now I just have to do it
“What if he/she says no?” That’s easy. The hard part, for me it this:
What if she says YES?!?
Today’s a pretty good day to start Fred! Good luck, Fox!
“Great, give me your number and let’s meet up for drinks or coffee tomorrow?”
hahahaha, awww thanks Ruth!
How do I get in a bigger/better workout without getting overwhelmed by the new stuff and quitting? Thanks a bunch!
Apparently I have a nasty habit of over complicating things…….
Especially for date 1, keep it simple. Coffee, meetup at the park, etc. Not a 2-hour sit down dinner 🙂
Not sure what you mean by bigger/better workout. But if you mean like strength training/trying squats or deadlifts. Add 1 new movement per month. Do what you’re doing, but learn 1 new exercise and get good at it. Then repeat 🙂
The right post in the right time. Thank you =)
Thanks! I just mean something more than what I’m currently doing, which is very, very minimal stuff (usually pushups and nothin’ else).
Getting a “yes” is a positive problem – a Good Thing ™. Worry is accomplishes nothing, much like trying: you can worry about it, or just do it; you can busy yourself trying to do something or just do it.
The advice is much easier to dole out than it is to follow. But it’s important to realize that it’s better just to do it and be yourself than worry about the “if’s” in life. Sometimes I get so caught up in the “if” that I completely miss the “when.”
Good luck!
Love your to the point posts Steve! I always enjoy your writing style.
This one reminded me – you had a great guest post on wardrobe tips for men previously (linked in the article!). Would you be able to have a post on simple wardrobe tips for women soon? I remember lots of other ladies were keen for one too!
Hey Steve! This isn’t so much a question as an example of how I kickstarted making big scary changes in my life.
For years I’ve worked on cruise ships. Pretty cool sounding job but wow do we earn those days off on in port! When I joined my most recent ship I was diagnosed with a condition which was being aggrivated by my working conditions & duties. Nothong major in the grand scheme of things but it was stopping me from working properly. Even though I loved working on ships I didn’t suit the ship was on either. I was miserable & needed to change something.
With the help of some friends I came to realise that I was no longer happy
doing the job I was in especially as it was affecting my health. I knew I still loved working on ships & that my chosen career path was not something I wanted to do forever so I started researching other options. I stopped fighting my inevitable disembarkation & was sent home. That was a few months ago and in that time even though it’s been scary I’ve sent away a kick ass application to go back to college in a course that will make me a highly qualified deck officer on even the biggest of ships. I’m already so much happier at just the prospect of being a broke student again, let alone that in only a few years time I could be navigating some of the biggest ships in the world. I was nervous at the thought of being a 28 year old cadet but I’ll be 28 anyway, I might as well be a cadet rather than thinking about what could have been. It’ll be July before I find out if I got the place but I’ve got a good feeling about this. Basically what I’m getting at is it’s better
to face the hard, scary stuff, stop doing what’s not working and start changing things so that I can set myself up for a much happier & brighter future.
Just my tuppence 🙂
So great to re-read these past articles! In “Is Motivation Useless” you say “stop whining”, but how do I stop whining? It’s hard! ^_^ (I’m serious though, whining and self-pity are so familiar and easy)
The way I see it, you have two choices:
1) whine and use self pity, but do nothing else.
2) whine and use self pity, but also take action towards fixing the problem.
See which one gets results, and then continue doing that one 🙂
If you want to whine thats fine, but you also have to take action.
Now for minimizing whining and self-pity, try volunteering once at a homeless shelter or children’s hospital. It can really help put a lot of things in perspective!
love it Lanky! Thanks for sharing and keep us posted with how things go!
Haven’t found a great person to partner with to write that post yet, but I’m continuing the search 🙂
“Short” question; boxers or briefs 😀
I’ll throw in my 2¢. I found even the beginner body weight circuit on Nerd Fitness a little overwhelming since I did pretty much nothing. I’ve been doing the Seven Minute Workout for a little under a month and it’s been good to me, plus it only takes up (take a guess) seven minutes of my morning! But then I usually have to shower after since it actually gets me sweating. Good luck!
This is an amazing article. Totally applies to my day. I realized a week ago that when a tragedy happened to my twin I put MY life on hold for 3 years and my career and personal life suffered for it. Her problems became mine. I learned from my mistakes and dusted off my bucket list. I organized it to what I could accomplish in months. I wanted to learn the violin. I rented one. My carpel tunnel only allows me to practice 30 minutes in a day. I practice. I only somewhat sound like a screeching cat now! Secondly, I hate bugs. So I got a tarantula. First time I held her in the store I had a mini freak out but I brought her home and now now I hold her no problem, when it comes to feeding time I still dislike crickets but it’s kind of nice listening to them chirp at night. Then the icing on the cake, I went to my new boss and said I want to be a manager It took me a long time to get the courage to do so, but I walked in and dived head first and now he is looking into putting me into a manager in training program. So let’s face it guys, you can do it. It’s all baby steps. Good luck !
Right on point. If it’s not working change it! That includes people, jobs, places, relationships. Give it the old college try, but when or if that fails, it is time to move on. Great work Steve! Exercise and taking care of yourself makes you quite impatient with mediocrity!
Get busy living, or get busy dying.
Thanks Steve..!
I think I might be addicted to sugar (I keep my calorie count right though and eat paleo-ish and mostly real food except for a bite of chocolate everyday). How bad is this?
Because a nerd fitness and the articles I am doing what I want and moving to Kauai in two days with my girlfriend. I was in happy where I worked what I ate and my relationship. I stumbled upon this site and put it in to practice and it has helped my relationship with time management, my personal feelings about myself worth, and what I should eat.
I have hade felt worthless at my job and only sale my girlfriend 2 horses out of a day ( and we live together). But worse of all had no time for my child and beat myself up about it. Thank you Neard Fitness for helping me feel better and make what is important in my life the top priority. But because of the move I can not pay the last two months. I will be back as soon as I can.
Keep fighting even the smallest step is at least a step, never stop. Eckho
Steve, when are you headed back to Chicago?
Talk about perfect timing! This appeared in my inbox today when I was teetering on the brink of a decision. Today, I’ve resigned from my volunteer position that I’ve been doing out of obligation and not passion for years. Already feeling like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders. Hopefully now I will have more time and energy for the things I am still excited about.
How can i get up earlier? I work in the afternoons, but as a teacher i also have to do some home work. In the end it seems that i m working the whole day, so ive been wondering what i could do to get up early and make the most of it. Ive tried several things but nothing with long term results… Any advice?
The world’s best advice column ??
Wow! This is like the Magic 8-ball of life! And here I thought that with time and experience, one would be able to answer his/her own questions…
Read this: http://www.nerdfitness.com/blog/2014/08/14/how-to-become-a-morning-person/
I used to go to bed at 4AM and now I’m up at 6AM most days 🙂
HELL YEAH!
Not sure about this year, but definitely in 2016 🙂
whoa! That’s incredible dude – have fun in Kauai 🙂
Love this 🙂
Sugar addiction is real! Check the end of this article for how to fight it 🙂
Go for high cacao dark chocolate and fruit to fight the cravings, and then slowly minimize that as well. But also, SOME sugar isn’t the end of the world
http://www.nerdfitness.com/blog/2013/06/17/everything-you-need-to-know-about-sugar/
Damn straight Rosa 🙂
I love this. I’m barely above “screeching cat” on the violin as well, but damn I’m having fun with it.
And just reading about your tarantula made my heart beat faster…I hate bugs! So way to conquer that one head on.
As Gandalf tells Frodo: “If you’re referring to the incident with the Dragon, I was barely involved. All I did was give your uncle a little nudge out of the door.”
Sometimes we know what we need to do, but need a small nudge to finally take action and make it happen 🙂