Real-Life Role Playing: What is Your Profession?

What do you want to be when you grow up?

Today, let’s delve deep into the nerd aspect of Nerd Fitness and turn life into a giant role-playing game.  Why?  Because it’s damn fun, nerdy, and quite applicable.  If you’ve played World of Warcraft, Everquest, Final Fantasy, or practically any fantasy-based RPG this article will feel right at home.

If you have no clue what I’m talking about, this will still be a fun exercise for you.

Let’s get started.

Your Race is Already Determined

Before you pick your profession, let’s talk about your “race.” Every RPG always has elves, hobbits, ogres, trolls, humans, wood elves, night elves, etc.  Each race has their own particular attributes that make them who they are.  Take a look in the mirror RIGHT NOW.  That’s your race.  300 pounds overweight, 50 pounds underweight, average, tall, short, beer gut, 6-pack abs, etc.  These are attributes about yourself that you cannot change immediately, so that’s your starting point.  Depending on your “race,” certain professions will be easier or harder for you to obtain.

Here’s an example: If you are an ogre (really tall and quite overweight), it’s going to be more work for you to become a really good Assassin (Parkour traceur), but if you’re willing to put the time in, anything is possible.  Maybe you’re an elf (incredibly thin) and you want to be a super-strong Warrior.  You’re going to need to spend months and months eating insane amounts of calories and lifting heavy weights to get results, but it is possible.

Make sense? Good!  Let’s check out the different professions.

Warrior

Lego Warrior

This tank is incredibly strong and powerful, pushing weight like it’s his job.

Which is good, because it IS his job.  If you ever see any battle, warriors are the first responders, defending their party while attacking the enemy.  Strong as an ox, Warriors constantly try to push themselves to be bigger, better, stronger.  Eating and lifting are the only two things Warriors worry about.  You do NOT want to go punch for punch with a Warrior.  You will get destroyed.

Primary attributes: Strength, power

Training: Pure strength-building weight training.

Real life example: Any World’s Strongest Man competitor.

Scout

Lego Scout

Scouts can cover great distances in a short amount of time.

Built for distance and efficiency rather than strength and power, these guys can outlast any animal on the planet.  They eat a diet higher in carbohydrates than most (though they can still be healthy carbs!) to give them enough fuel to survive these grueling treks cross-country, and their muscles are designed to last for hours rather than minutes or seconds (like a Warrior).  A growing contingent of scouts have moved to barefoot running, returning to their ancient ancestral roots.

Primary attributes: Stamina, endurance.

Training: Lots of distance training, long bike rides, high volume exercises with any sort of weight training.

Real life example: Marathon runners, Ironman athletes.

Ranger

Ranger Lego

Rangers are a hybrid of Warriors and Scouts, built for strength AND endurance.

A jack-of-all-trades but master of none, Rangers are well-equipped for any situation.  Their weight training revolves around varying the reps, sets, and downtime to continually force those body to adapt to new situations.  Usually Rangers follow a Paleo Diet, eating things that can only be found in nature.  Thanks to this type of training and diet, Rangers have incredibly low body-fat percentages.

Primary attributes: Functional strength, adaptability.

Training: Lots of weight training but with minimal downtime (think crossfit and 300 training).

Real Life example: Gerard Butler in 300.

Assassin

Lego Assassin

To assassins, the world is one giant playground.

Every building can be climbed, every gap can be jumped, every obstacle can be conquered.  Assassins spend most of their time training with functional body weight exercises as that’s usually the only thing they need to lift.

Fearless, calculated, and efficient, Assassins have low body fat percentages because extra weight could mean the difference between life and death on a mission.  They have solid endurance as well, allowing them to progress through an obstacle-filled environment without breaking a sweat.

Primary Attributes: Agility, stamina

Training: Parkour, free running, rock climbing.

Real World example: Parkour traceurs, free runners, most athletes on Ninja Warrior.

Monk

Lego Monk

This isn’t the type of monk you’d want to run into on a bad day…

These monks can kick your ass with their fists and feet, and they will do it before you even knew what happened.  Incredibly agile, lightning fast, and loaded with power, Monks specialize in martial arts to stay in shape and destroy the opposition.

Training is mostly spent in dojos and in the ring, with some weight training thrown in to help produce stronger punches and kicks.  Monks only carry enough weight and muscle to provide maximum efficiency with each attack.  Muscles are compact and powerful, core strength is high, and speed is favored over size.

Primary Attributes: Agility, power

Training: MMA, Capoeria, Muay Thai boxing, Tai Kwon Do

Real life example:Georges St. Pierre (MMA fighter).

Druid

Lego Druid

Druids are one with nature.

Oftentimes consuming a plant-only diet, they specialize in being one with themselves, finding balance in everything.  These peaceful folk spend a majority of their time training in the arts of yoga, meditation, and tai chi.  Strength training is only done if necessary, as  most druids aren’t interested in massive muscles or explosive power.  Druids also follow a minimalist diet, high in vegetables, fruits, and nuts.  Some eat meat, but only enough to get sufficient protein.  Processed foods are the enemy.

Primary attributes: agility, flexibility

Training: meditation, yoga, tai chi

Real life example: Yogis, tai chi instructors

My Profession

Lego Berserker

I was born an elf (thin, tough to build muscle), and I want to be a Warrior/Ranger hybrid…let’s call it a Berzerker class?

I’m generally a pretty happy, calm, goofy guy.  But when I’m in training mode, I turn on berserker mode: I start foaming at the mouth, I walk around with this crazy look in my eye, and I push myself hard than I ever thought possible.

I focus on lift like squats, deadlifts, presses, handstand push ups, pull ups, dips, and chin ups.  I vary my rep range and downtime between sets to build strength, power, and muscle size.  I mix in assassin (gymnastics) training and monk (capoeira) training whenever possible.

Sure, it’d be a much quicker path for me to become a scout (as I already have the body type), but I love getting stronger and training in things that I truly enjoy, so I picked a different direction.

Why?

Because I can, and because it makes me happy.

How About You?

Profession

Leave a comment with your current race and what profession you’d like to be. 

I picked six classes up above to keep things simple, but let me know if I left out one that should be in there.  Feel free to combine two classes like I did as well.  Just so we’re clear: all classes are gender-neutral, so you can be a female warrior or male druid.  There are no restrictions!

Once you have your profession selected, feel free to join us in the Nerd Fitness message boards (it’s free!) and join up with your guild!  

Want to take things a step further?  

Check out Rising Heroes, a game/program/community of sorts we’re developing around this very idea…

So, I ask you: “What is your PROFESSION!?”

-Steve

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Photo: KennyMatic, Lego berserkerWarrior Lego, Scout Lego, Ranger Legos, Druid Lego, Lego Assassin, Lego Monk, Lego Profession

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  • Ranger Power

    I’m a Ranger Power and speed funnily enough I training to eventually be able to to do Parkour and freerunning well so I definitely want to be an assassin.

  • Reus

    I’m jumping in really late here, but wanted to add my 2 gold coins. I’d have to say I fit in the human race, nothing extraordinary about me. No special attributes, just average all around.

    I’d like to work toward being an Assassin/Monk hybrid which might could end up being more Rogue-like than anything else.

  • Peter

    Once upon a time, long ago, I was a definite Ranger. Beppo the Ranger. An ass-kicking, rock-and-tree-climbing, run-all-day, boulder-throwing warrior for Good. Somewhere during the adventure I became Beppo the Rotund, puttering around his yard getting out of breath when he mowed the lawn.

    I will become a Ranger/Druid. I will, I will.

  • MamaCarson

    Currently I’m a Warrior/Hobbit mix. Weight lifting has always been fun and easy for me. Before this last baby, I could squat over 300lbs and had completed a half marathon. I’d like to get to where I’m a Scout dabbling in some heavy weights. Goal is to run another half in the next year, and run all of it and get to where I can squat 350 easily.

  • Corey Croman

    I’d say I fall into the Ogre category. I’m 6’4″, 320 lbs. I studied martial arts as a kid, and loved it. I’d say I’m looking to go a monk/ ranger combo

  • The Minstrel Knight

    Town Fool, Human; drinking Heavily because of my inadequacy. I have a level in every class and they all spread XP out among them. I may or may not only be level 2 in each.

  • Ellieka

    This is so incredibly nerdy, and I am DELIGHTED.

  • Graeme

    Assassin/Ranger

  • Graeme

    I was too born an elf and would like to become sort of a jack of all traits. I would love to become a Ranger/Assassin hybrid

  • Graeme

    I noticed adventurer is now a class. What are the specs on that?

  • Diana Copeland

    I believe I’m a monk since I’m learning several martial arts including Taikwondo, combat hopkito. Also sword like koryo gumd plus iyido. I wish to become an assasin as my profession.

  • cmb32193

    I think my race is American, you know 5’9 and 330 pounds. My current class is potato, but my end goal is to be a Druid, not just one with nature but myself as well.

  • gone2seed

    Probably somewhere between dwarf and human, I guess. Average height for a female, curvy w/ flat stomach, lifter of heavy things but despite 2 years of running still cannot manage a 10k. Right now, my body is trying to awkwardly merge the warrior and druid types. My genetics will never let me be a scout or a ranger, but I could live with an assassin/druid combo (alignments aside). Would love to pull in the monk think, but then I’d need to spend the monies– was a black belt once though!

  • Ryu

    Human as a race, definitely Ranger class though. Always been built for stamina and endurance, with a high metabolism and a quick recovery time. Lately been spending a lot of time in town though, so got to get back to my Ranger roots, and get back to training as an Assassin as well.

  • Forsachen

    I’m pretty average. Female, 5’8, 135 lbs. I guess my race would be human. I’m not very strong, and can’t run fast or for long. I do rock climbing, archery, fencing, dance, and whitewater kayaking as hobbies. What class would I call this?

  • http://www.internetgeeks.org/ Internet Geeks

    I want to be a ranger. :D

  • Natasha

    I would say I’m a mix between a dwarf and a human right now. I’m about 90 pounds heavier then I would like to be and my muscles have deteriorated over the last few years. The professions look awesome and it’s hard to pick but a Druid/Assassin hybrid for me. The idea of the world as my playground appeals, along with the functional body weight exercises. And then the meditation, flexibility and centering of the Druid.

    Every obstacle can be conquered. Yes!

  • IzayaOrihara

    Hey i think im an elf and im going to be an assassin/scout hybrid i say im going to be rather than like becausecif i say like

  • Zephyr

    I’m definitely an Assassin/Monk. I’ve always been obsessed with martial arts and parkour/free running since I was young. Used to practice Jiu Jitsu, MMA and Karate all at various times but my love has always stuck with Capoeira, Jiu Jitsu, Kung Fu, Parkour and Aiekido (and yes, I’m planning to practice all of them at some point).

    Can’t wait till I’m able to get back into it, lack of funds has always been my problem sadly but I shall live up to my class in full ASAP! :3

  • Samuel Williams

    My race would definitely be dwarf, I’m short and broad and have a bit of a gut. The easiest class for me to get into would probably be warrior, since I put on muscle very quickly( and unfortunately I put on fat very quickly as well). But warrior isn’t really my goal, if anything I’d like to become a Jack of all trades, so I guess ranger would be my best bet, with a lot of training in the other classes.

  • Chris

    I believe that I am currently an Elf, and would like to be an assassin

  • newmanlikepaul

    Racially I would say I’m a Valkyrie. I’m a big Nordic blonde. I’ve always been a Druid/Scout hybrid. I hike about 15 miles a week in the mountains in Los Angeles, I’m part of a meditation sangha, and I’ve gone through yoga teacher training. I’m a reluctant carnivore. From the time I was a little kid I was always way more interested in a big plate of veggies than meat.

    I really want to be more of a Druid / Ranger. i want to build muscle and get strong! I also want to find ways to increase my fat and protein in a way that honors the fact that for me meat is more of a garnish than the main event. Any protein recommendations are greatly recommended!

    This is my inspiration!

  • newmanlikepaul

    That made me smile. Welcome! We are all in this together. :)

  • newmanlikepaul

    Here! Here! You totally will.

  • newmanlikepaul

    Screw it. Make your own. I did!

  • Sebastian Tanner

    I’m an elf by definition right now. Tall scrawny and can’t put on muscle. If I can only pick two right now, then I want to be an assassin/druid, but I’d like to add ranger in there too. I’m probably going to dwell in every class for some kind of strength to add to my body.

  • Emily Champoux

    I think I’m a Ty Lee.

  • Emily Champoux

    I think I’m a Ty Lee, lol.

  • Rebecca Lewis

    I am a Human and I want to be a hybrid. Ranger/Assassin/Druid. I’m doing some light jogging/walking right now. Yay!

  • Cait

    Currently, I think I’m a (female) warrior – I’m only 5’5, but I can punch harder then some men I know. I can’t run very far or fast, unless it is life-dependent. Also, when I get into training.. I tend to break things, even if I only use them for a few minutes. Just ask my poor fan… I got mad one day and decided to use it as a makeshift punching bag.. and it split from the base and went flying across the room. *Yikes.* I’d really like to keep the power I’ve always had in me, but I think I’d like to be an Assassin/Scout combo.
    So, I guess I’d just be one bad MF. Lol.

  • Cait

    I’m pretty sure it dates back to our ancestors, and the hunting/gathering ways.

  • Curt Poff

    How about a Warrior/Druid hybrid (Paladin). Someone who wants to be the warrior protector, doing the big lifts and building the muscles, but who is also aware that you need to keep your body centered and uses the druid attributes (yoga) to stay limber and keep the roots strong.

    I would go Human Paladin. 5’10” – start of 2014 230lbs down to 195lbs.

  • Sabrina

    Wow, I’m astounded by how accurately the Ranger description describes what my body seems to be built for. I think I will focus on the variation-type training from now on. I’ve always wondered why my muscles seemed to surprise me from time to time. At one point recently I was able to leg press around 135-140 pounds with five sets of ten reps, but was also able to once do five reps at around 175 pounds. But I can also hike for 3-5 hours on fairly rugged mountain terrain and come out of it hardly winded. And then my arms have also been weird. They seem to “plateau” fairly quickly. I will work myself up from three sets of ten reps using fifteen pounds to five sets of ten reps within a month of doing the lifts every other day. But I can’t seem to do twenty pounds, and ten pounds is wayyy too easy. I’ve considered, “What if I were to alternate the sets and reps with higher and lower numbers and with different weights?” I’ve thought that might make it more interesting.
    Anyways . . . my point is, my main muscle groups in general have always mystified me, but when I read the description of the Ranger, it all clicked. :) I think I fit perfectly into that category, and I think I will train like a Ranger from now on; not only will the varied training improve and tap into the full potential of my muscles, but it will also become a lot more fun.
    Thanks so much for posting this Steve! You’ve allowed to finally see the explanation behind my body’s structure. :)
    Sincerely,
    A new female Ranger

  • Bonnie Borcyk

    Well, everyone calls me a hobbit. I’m pretty small (in height anyway). I think I’m a ranger-monk. I have been into martial arts for most of my life, and when I’m at my skinniest, I still have a decent kick. It would be sweet if there were some descriptions or examples of females in each class.

  • Religion0

    I have the funny feeling I’m a human. I’m not trying to be snide, I’m serious. I’m average height, not particularly slim or broad, for a Danish girl, anyway, at a more optimistic outlook, I’m thinking I could pass for a wood elf. I’d like to be a Monk (or would that be a Nun?), but I’m having a hard time finding somewhere to learn my martial art of choice (Wing Chun Kung Fu). I don’t think I have the mentality for it, but it’d be cool to be an Assassin Monk… but I don’t think I’d ever really do parkour, as cool as it is. So, going for Monk.

  • Anonymous

    You forgot an intelligence-based class, like a Mage, for people who are neither physically strong and fit nor agile and dexterous. But otherwise, great post :).

  • Brady Burkett

    I would believe that I am an assassin. However, I haven’t a clue where to begin with the workouts. I allows wanted to learn how to parkour.