Real-Life Role Playing: What is Your Profession?

What do you want to be when you grow up?

Today, let’s delve deep into the nerd aspect of Nerd Fitness and turn life into a giant role-playing game.  Why?  Because it’s damn fun, nerdy, and quite applicable.  If you’ve played World of Warcraft, Everquest, Final Fantasy, or practically any fantasy-based RPG this article will feel right at home.

If you have no clue what I’m talking about, this will still be a fun exercise for you.

Let’s get started.

Your Race is Already Determined

Before you pick your profession, let’s talk about your “race.” Every RPG always has elves, hobbits, ogres, trolls, humans, wood elves, night elves, etc.  Each race has their own particular attributes that make them who they are.  Take a look in the mirror RIGHT NOW.  That’s your race.  300 pounds overweight, 50 pounds underweight, average, tall, short, beer gut, 6-pack abs, etc.  These are attributes about yourself that you cannot change immediately, so that’s your starting point.  Depending on your “race,” certain professions will be easier or harder for you to obtain.

Here’s an example: If you are an ogre (really tall and quite overweight), it’s going to be more work for you to become a really good Assassin (Parkour traceur), but if you’re willing to put the time in, anything is possible.  Maybe you’re an elf (incredibly thin) and you want to be a super-strong Warrior.  You’re going to need to spend months and months eating insane amounts of calories and lifting heavy weights to get results, but it is possible.

Make sense? Good!  Let’s check out the different professions.

Warrior

Lego Warrior

This tank is incredibly strong and powerful, pushing weight like it’s his job.

Which is good, because it IS his job.  If you ever see any battle, warriors are the first responders, defending their party while attacking the enemy.  Strong as an ox, Warriors constantly try to push themselves to be bigger, better, stronger.  Eating and lifting are the only two things Warriors worry about.  You do NOT want to go punch for punch with a Warrior.  You will get destroyed.

Primary attributes: Strength, power

Training: Pure strength-building weight training.

Real life example: Any World’s Strongest Man competitor.

Scout

Lego Scout

Scouts can cover great distances in a short amount of time.

Built for distance and efficiency rather than strength and power, these guys can outlast any animal on the planet.  They eat a diet higher in carbohydrates than most (though they can still be healthy carbs!) to give them enough fuel to survive these grueling treks cross-country, and their muscles are designed to last for hours rather than minutes or seconds (like a Warrior).  A growing contingent of scouts have moved to barefoot running, returning to their ancient ancestral roots.

Primary attributes: Stamina, endurance.

Training: Lots of distance training, long bike rides, high volume exercises with any sort of weight training.

Real life example: Marathon runners, Ironman athletes.

Ranger

Ranger Lego

Rangers are a hybrid of Warriors and Scouts, built for strength AND endurance.

A jack-of-all-trades but master of none, Rangers are well-equipped for any situation.  Their weight training revolves around varying the reps, sets, and downtime to continually force those body to adapt to new situations.  Usually Rangers follow a Paleo Diet, eating things that can only be found in nature.  Thanks to this type of training and diet, Rangers have incredibly low body-fat percentages.

Primary attributes: Functional strength, adaptability.

Training: Lots of weight training but with minimal downtime (think crossfit and 300 training).

Real Life example: Gerard Butler in 300.

Assassin

Lego Assassin

To assassins, the world is one giant playground.

Every building can be climbed, every gap can be jumped, every obstacle can be conquered.  Assassins spend most of their time training with functional body weight exercises as that’s usually the only thing they need to lift.

Fearless, calculated, and efficient, Assassins have low body fat percentages because extra weight could mean the difference between life and death on a mission.  They have solid endurance as well, allowing them to progress through an obstacle-filled environment without breaking a sweat.

Primary Attributes: Agility, stamina

Training: Parkour, free running, rock climbing.

Real World example: Parkour traceurs, free runners, most athletes on Ninja Warrior.

Monk

Lego Monk

This isn’t the type of monk you’d want to run into on a bad day…

These monks can kick your ass with their fists and feet, and they will do it before you even knew what happened.  Incredibly agile, lightning fast, and loaded with power, Monks specialize in martial arts to stay in shape and destroy the opposition.

Training is mostly spent in dojos and in the ring, with some weight training thrown in to help produce stronger punches and kicks.  Monks only carry enough weight and muscle to provide maximum efficiency with each attack.  Muscles are compact and powerful, core strength is high, and speed is favored over size.

Primary Attributes: Agility, power

Training: MMA, Capoeria, Muay Thai boxing, Tai Kwon Do

Real life example:Georges St. Pierre (MMA fighter).

Druid

Lego Druid

Druids are one with nature.

Oftentimes consuming a plant-only diet, they specialize in being one with themselves, finding balance in everything.  These peaceful folk spend a majority of their time training in the arts of yoga, meditation, and tai chi.  Strength training is only done if necessary, as  most druids aren’t interested in massive muscles or explosive power.  Druids also follow a minimalist diet, high in vegetables, fruits, and nuts.  Some eat meat, but only enough to get sufficient protein.  Processed foods are the enemy.

Primary attributes: agility, flexibility

Training: meditation, yoga, tai chi

Real life example: Yogis, tai chi instructors

My Profession

Lego Berserker

I was born an elf (thin, tough to build muscle), and I want to be a Warrior/Ranger hybrid…let’s call it a Berzerker class?

I’m generally a pretty happy, calm, goofy guy.  But when I’m in training mode, I turn on berserker mode: I start foaming at the mouth, I walk around with this crazy look in my eye, and I push myself hard than I ever thought possible.

I focus on lift like squats, deadlifts, presses, handstand push ups, pull ups, dips, and chin ups.  I vary my rep range and downtime between sets to build strength, power, and muscle size.  I mix in assassin (gymnastics) training and monk (capoeira) training whenever possible.

Sure, it’d be a much quicker path for me to become a scout (as I already have the body type), but I love getting stronger and training in things that I truly enjoy, so I picked a different direction.

Why?

Because I can, and because it makes me happy.

How About You?

Profession

Leave a comment with your current race and what profession you’d like to be. 

I picked six classes up above to keep things simple, but let me know if I left out one that should be in there.  Feel free to combine two classes like I did as well.  Just so we’re clear: all classes are gender-neutral, so you can be a female warrior or male druid.  There are no restrictions!

Once you have your profession selected, feel free to join us in the Nerd Fitness message boards (it’s free!) and join up with your guild!  

Want to take things a step further?  

Check out the Nerd Fitness Academy, where you can actually pick your class, complete quests, gain experience, and yes…level up!

So, I ask you: “What is your PROFESSION!?”

-Steve

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Photo: KennyMatic, Lego berserkerWarrior Lego, Scout Lego, Ranger Legos, Druid Lego, Lego Assassin, Lego Monk, Lego Profession

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  • Daniel Gould

    Human, working on druid. Though monk is pretty cool. Is it possible to be limber and have explosive power?

  • MerryKat

    I think I would classify as a Hobbit right now – short (5.2), solid & well padded (164lb) with a fairly heavy bone structure. All my adult life I have been solid. Like a hobbit I can eat from when my eyes open in the morning till they close at night! I love to take naps and read endlessly. I have spent the last few years learning new eating habits which have helped immensely. I have never enjoyed exercise except when I found body weight exercises – what a revelation but I never really to them to where they were a useful event in my life.

    When it comes to stamina & endurance I have very little of either and no desire to train in any of the disciplines that grow these traits.

    I am heading to Warrior/Druid with what I am currently doing and where my interest lies – Body Weight Training and Yoga. This site has started me on a 6 Week Challenge using the Angry Birds Workout (MWF) and a Yoga work out (TT). I am really enjoying these and the feeling of strengthening my body and mind.

  • Jennnifer

    I’m an average 20yo female (definitely human), not overweight but I want to become an assassin/ranger. I can’t hold a run to save my life, and my strength leaves a lot of work. Any training tips for a average college student looking to become a S.H.I.E.L.D agent? I appreciate any help. :)

  • Stan B. Furman

    Hello, I’m 5″9′ & I weigh between 170-180 lbs & I’m 45 yrs old. I’ve been a long distance runner and I’ve weight trained all of my life. A back injury back in April 2013 prevented me from doing any of these exercises, so I learned how to swim. Now I’m swimming 800-1200 yds a day and I’m running 3 miles a day as well. (On the treadmill in inclement weather, and outside in the spring and summer.) As well as cycling during the spring and summer months. To replace the weight lifting (it tends to hurt my back) I’m doing 3-5 sets of calisthenics, What category of race and profession does this place me in. I can’t seem to find where my style of training fits into nerd fitness, ( Or Cross fit, The insanity workout, etc…ect… for that matter.) Any input you can give is HIGHLY appreciated and will be put to use…

  • http://ideacrib.net/ Patricia Mirasol

    I guess I’m half-Druid and half-Assassin then. I totally love Pilates, Barre, and Esentrics, though those aren’t the only exercises I focus on. I also do strength training and cardio. I’ve been recently mulling about joining half-marathons, so I guess I have Scout fantasies too! Haha!

  • Freda

    I’ a 72 year old Druid!

  • Giancarlo Fusco

    I think, based on my average build, I’m a human. With 20 years of martial arts, I’m definitely a Monk, with a level-1 Druid. I’d like to add in Ranger, so I’m going to gradually change my workout to match that (which will also, hopefully, improve my martial arts)!

  • owis al sabbagh

    I’m an ogre I guess so I would like to be a monk/scout hybrid but I’m a fan of parkour so I would like some assassin skills but I hate weight lifting I think my own weight in training does the job

  • Jesse Sanborn

    Well I’m 5’8” so a little short but I’m extremely big boned like my knee looks bigger than some peoples heads So maybe a dwarf. Haha I don’t know let me know what you think. Anyway I used to be overweight like 193 at my biggest then a friend got me running and in two months I lost 38 pounds just from running he totally forced me to run every day and eventually I started to like it. Now I’m 154 and quite muscular. I’m work on being a ranger/monk with a little assasin thrown in as a total geek who went through not having the slightest interest in fitness to fitness being part of my lifestyle now I have to say I love nerd fitness. Also any body got any ideas on how a very stout person who’s flat footed can become very light on my feet and very fast without losing any muscle.

  • DWARF

    I’m a dwarf (short and overweight) but I’m a asassin /Druid hybrid (if thats possible). I want to get more endurance and strength. I love the outdoors as well.

  • ff13rouge

    I’m an elf scout trying to mix in ranger or warrior to add a bit of size, but still want to retain my 18min 5k time and long distance running abilities, maybe that makes me a rouge?

  • Black Cat

    I’m short and thick, so maybe I’m a bit of a dwarf right now with some Druidy qualities. I aspire to be Druidy Monk. I miss martial arts terribly.

  • Eric

    I’m currently an ogre or orc. About 2m/125kg. Ranger is the most appealing to me at the moment because of the variety. Eventually, I’d want to multi-class with monk once I can handle that kind of training, or maybe success at lifting will lure me into warrior ways. Definitely a wizard currently. :-p

  • MEJKnowles

    I’m a human woman who’s 168 cm tall, or 5’6″ with a bit of extra weight.

    What I’d like to be is a Ranger/Assassin hybrid since I love climbing things & like the sound of a Ranger – Warrior/Scout hybrid. I’m going to start working towards being a Scout first, though, since that appeals to me more than the rest, & it’s a realistic goal for me at this point in my life. The rest’ll come later. I’m just starting out – again – in getting into shape, & I’m joining the current challenge – it’s 23 February 2015 – & it’s going to help me since it’s something I know’ll work for me. I need a challenge like this to keep me going. :)

  • meme

    I’m a dwarf, short and fat.

  • CthulhuMcJones

    Lets see…5’11″….185lbs….should put me in human category. Except I look way more like an Elf. Tall, skinny. I want to be…..DEATHKNIGHT!!!!
    A mix between a Warrior and Darth Vader.

  • Dustin Martinez

    I am clearly an orc Big overweight. I would like to be a Ranger.

  • Guest

    I’m not sure what race I would be. I mean, my height is 1m66. I used to be quite thin, but as most brazilian girls, I was a “false thin girl”: 47 to 50 kg before, but with more thigh, hip and butt. Nowadays, I’m 65kgs, not thin anymore, a little overweight, but exactly fat as those kilos distributed for belly, butt, thigh, hip, a arms a bit.

    Because of this, i’m not sure if i’m “human”, or halfblood (half elf or half dwarf) xDDDD could somebody help me?

    oh and I would choose a hybrid monk and assassin, as I do parkour and kung fu (beginner xD). I’ve always liked their characteristics.

  • https://www.facebook.com/amanshy Amanda Marques

    I’m not sure what race I would be. I mean, my height is 1m66. I used to be quite thin, but as most brazilian girls, I was a “false thin girl”: 47 to 50 kg before, but with more thigh, hip and butt. Nowadays, I’m 65kgs, not thin anymore, a little overweight, but exactly fat as those kilos distributed for belly, butt, thigh, hip, a arms a bit.

    Because of this, i’m not sure if i’m “human”, halfling or halfblood (half dwarf, half something else) xDDDD could somebody help me?

    oh and I would choose a hybrid monk and assassin, as I do parkour and kung fu (beginner xD). I’ve always liked their characteristics.

  • Outlawful

    Been an elf I guess? (5’8″ 150 lbs) until early 20’s now at 30 I’m still the same height but 260 lbs so, hobbit or troll I guess? Wanna get back to my assassin days.

  • จมาพันธ์ ชูตา

    good way for fat boy like me
    royal1688 / gclub /genting club