Real-Life Role Playing: What is Your Profession?

What do you want to be when you grow up?

Today, let’s delve deep into the nerd aspect of Nerd Fitness and turn life into a giant role-playing game.  Why?  Because it’s damn fun, nerdy, and quite applicable.  If you’ve played World of Warcraft, Everquest, Final Fantasy, or practically any fantasy-based RPG this article will feel right at home.

If you have no clue what I’m talking about, this will still be a fun exercise for you.

Let’s get started.

Your Race is Already Determined

Before you pick your profession, let’s talk about your “race.” Every RPG always has elves, hobbits, ogres, trolls, humans, wood elves, night elves, etc.  Each race has their own particular attributes that make them who they are.  Take a look in the mirror RIGHT NOW.  That’s your race.  300 pounds overweight, 50 pounds underweight, average, tall, short, beer gut, 6-pack abs, etc.  These are attributes about yourself that you cannot change immediately, so that’s your starting point.  Depending on your “race,” certain professions will be easier or harder for you to obtain.

Here’s an example: If you are an ogre (really tall and quite overweight), it’s going to be more work for you to become a really good Assassin (Parkour traceur), but if you’re willing to put the time in, anything is possible.  Maybe you’re an elf (incredibly thin) and you want to be a super-strong Warrior.  You’re going to need to spend months and months eating insane amounts of calories and lifting heavy weights to get results, but it is possible.

Make sense? Good!  Let’s check out the different professions.

Warrior

Lego Warrior

This tank is incredibly strong and powerful, pushing weight like it’s his job.

Which is good, because it IS his job.  If you ever see any battle, warriors are the first responders, defending their party while attacking the enemy.  Strong as an ox, Warriors constantly try to push themselves to be bigger, better, stronger.  Eating and lifting are the only two things Warriors worry about.  You do NOT want to go punch for punch with a Warrior.  You will get destroyed.

Primary attributes: Strength, power

Training: Pure strength-building weight training.

Real life example: Any World’s Strongest Man competitor.

Scout

Lego Scout

Scouts can cover great distances in a short amount of time.

Built for distance and efficiency rather than strength and power, these guys can outlast any animal on the planet.  They eat a diet higher in carbohydrates than most (though they can still be healthy carbs!) to give them enough fuel to survive these grueling treks cross-country, and their muscles are designed to last for hours rather than minutes or seconds (like a Warrior).  A growing contingent of scouts have moved to barefoot running, returning to their ancient ancestral roots.

Primary attributes: Stamina, endurance.

Training: Lots of distance training, long bike rides, high volume exercises with any sort of weight training.

Real life example: Marathon runners, Ironman athletes.

Ranger

Ranger Lego

Rangers are a hybrid of Warriors and Scouts, built for strength AND endurance.

A jack-of-all-trades but master of none, Rangers are well-equipped for any situation.  Their weight training revolves around varying the reps, sets, and downtime to continually force those body to adapt to new situations.  Usually Rangers follow a Paleo Diet, eating things that can only be found in nature.  Thanks to this type of training and diet, Rangers have incredibly low body-fat percentages.

Primary attributes: Functional strength, adaptability.

Training: Lots of weight training but with minimal downtime (think crossfit and 300 training).

Real Life example: Gerard Butler in 300.

Assassin

Lego Assassin

To assassins, the world is one giant playground.

Every building can be climbed, every gap can be jumped, every obstacle can be conquered.  Assassins spend most of their time training with functional body weight exercises as that’s usually the only thing they need to lift.

Fearless, calculated, and efficient, Assassins have low body fat percentages because extra weight could mean the difference between life and death on a mission.  They have solid endurance as well, allowing them to progress through an obstacle-filled environment without breaking a sweat.

Primary Attributes: Agility, stamina

Training: Parkour, free running, rock climbing.

Real World example: Parkour traceurs, free runners, most athletes on Ninja Warrior.

Monk

Lego Monk

This isn’t the type of monk you’d want to run into on a bad day…

These monks can kick your ass with their fists and feet, and they will do it before you even knew what happened.  Incredibly agile, lightning fast, and loaded with power, Monks specialize in martial arts to stay in shape and destroy the opposition.

Training is mostly spent in dojos and in the ring, with some weight training thrown in to help produce stronger punches and kicks.  Monks only carry enough weight and muscle to provide maximum efficiency with each attack.  Muscles are compact and powerful, core strength is high, and speed is favored over size.

Primary Attributes: Agility, power

Training: MMA, Capoeria, Muay Thai boxing, Tai Kwon Do

Real life example:Georges St. Pierre (MMA fighter).

Druid

Lego Druid

Druids are one with nature.

Oftentimes consuming a plant-only diet, they specialize in being one with themselves, finding balance in everything.  These peaceful folk spend a majority of their time training in the arts of yoga, meditation, and tai chi.  Strength training is only done if necessary, as  most druids aren’t interested in massive muscles or explosive power.  Druids also follow a minimalist diet, high in vegetables, fruits, and nuts.  Some eat meat, but only enough to get sufficient protein.  Processed foods are the enemy.

Primary attributes: agility, flexibility

Training: meditation, yoga, tai chi

Real life example: Yogis, tai chi instructors

My Profession

Lego Berserker

I was born an elf (thin, tough to build muscle), and I want to be a Warrior/Ranger hybrid…let’s call it a Berzerker class?

I’m generally a pretty happy, calm, goofy guy.  But when I’m in training mode, I turn on berserker mode: I start foaming at the mouth, I walk around with this crazy look in my eye, and I push myself hard than I ever thought possible.

I focus on lift like squats, deadlifts, presses, handstand push ups, pull ups, dips, and chin ups.  I vary my rep range and downtime between sets to build strength, power, and muscle size.  I mix in assassin (gymnastics) training and monk (capoeira) training whenever possible.

Sure, it’d be a much quicker path for me to become a scout (as I already have the body type), but I love getting stronger and training in things that I truly enjoy, so I picked a different direction.

Why?

Because I can, and because it makes me happy.

How About You?

Profession

Leave a comment with your current race and what profession you’d like to be. 

I picked six classes up above to keep things simple, but let me know if I left out one that should be in there.  Feel free to combine two classes like I did as well.  Just so we’re clear: all classes are gender-neutral, so you can be a female warrior or male druid.  There are no restrictions!

Once you have your profession selected, feel free to join us in the Nerd Fitness message boards (it’s free!) and join up with your guild!  

Want to take things a step further?  

Check out the Nerd Fitness Academy, where you can actually pick your class, complete quests, gain experience, and yes…level up!

So, I ask you: “What is your PROFESSION!?”

-Steve

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Photo: KennyMatic, Lego berserkerWarrior Lego, Scout Lego, Ranger Legos, Druid Lego, Lego Assassin, Lego Monk, Lego Profession

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  • Courtney Haney

    I’m sad to say I would have to classify myself as human seeing as I’m 5’6″ of curves and 180lb. I’ve got some muscle going on but a fair bit of padding, too. Human just sounds so… normal! 😛 Anyway, I want to go for an Assassin/Druid mix. I love the idea of being powerful, agile, and capable. I also love the idea of embracing peace and balance. I currently practice yoga and strength training. I love Zumba as well (I don’t see a bardic class…). I would love to get into meditation, rock wall climbing, and parkour.

  • Ethan

    I think I’d be a half-elf. Tall, thin, slight build but a little too short to be a wood elf let alone a high elf or dark elf.So, at 5’10 a chest measuring 40in, 15.5in neck, waist is currently 38in (though when I was at my peak performance it was 29in), and inseam is 34in.

  • Wannabeassassin

    I am currently a warrior. I build muscle really easy, but alas, my apetite builds up accordingly. So, I’m heavy, but really strong. I’d like to be a ranger/assassin. I train kids in parkour (I used to be a gymnast) and would like to be able to move quickly and, if possible, with some grace and without hurting myself😊

  • Meredith Caraher

    I’ve been in the monk camp long enough to get soft – falling back on agility, speed and decades of perfecting technique to beat less experienced fighters. I’d like to move forward into a warrior, and have been working body weight strength training in preparation for bar and bells. Giving myself another couple of weeks of practice before diving in.

  • Angélique Roux

    This is so much fun! Great that you’ve come up with this, Steve!

    By the way, where does dancing fit into the picture?

    I guess I’d be an elf, though a bit on the short side, but too skinny-boned to be a hobbit. Since I’m a yoga teacher, I’m a druid, but the skills and mindset of an assassin spark my interest – always playing the assassin/druid-healer types in literate RPGs. Fun times!

  • Emerys Hawthorn

    I’m probably of the human race, seeing as how I’m not particularly fat or skinny (though I lean more towards skinny) and I’m not really athletic. I hope to be a ranger/assassin, but with a bit of druid mixed in.
    Also, for a possible class to add to the ones above, a Mage class might work. It would be for those that either aren’t interested or don’t have enough time in their schedule to commit to working out because of other pursuits, and instead rely almost exclusively on diet and fasting to lose weight, with sparse and short work outs mixed in.

  • kerr

    i have a question, what would gymnastics fall under? specifically the still rings and pommel horse?

  • Qork

    I’m definitely an Orc.
    I’m looking to be a ruthless warrior, with a nice orcish layer of fat.

  • Alex Schubert

    I am a Half Elf (Human/Elf) and I want to be a Ranger/Assassin. Strength is key at certain points of my job, but I also want to have endurance and agility (also I love rock climbing and have been looking into parkour) Function is paramount for my fitness goals and for the things I enjoy doing. This article is awesome and I’m excited to get started!

  • thohan

    I think I’m a sage. Sounds better than old guy.

  • http://thelifestyleoverhaul.com Aaron Steele

    i’m currently a Shrek like ogre/orc (I prefer orc in elder scrolls style) because I’m super tall and super fat – but I want to be a Dual Wielding Warrior Assassin Jedi Guardian… Think ROTS Anakin but more muscular and less whiney.

  • Dave

    I would say assassin would be your best fit.

  • Dave

    In my mind’s eye I am making the druid into a mage class. I am currently human and my class would be blob. I plan on doing a mix of mage and ranger with mage being the first class I work on.

  • Eric Pernerewski

    What would a troll look like?

  • Eric Pernerewski

    What class should I join if I have negative amounts of cardio ability but would like to very slowly build it?

  • Elise Mauceri

    I feel like I am a gnome bard right now, maybe a halfling. I am short and curvy, with a couple of curves that are too curvy. I recently passed from high “overweight” BMI to “obese.” I used to be a druid/monk/assassin in my training but am trying to find where I fit now. I think I need to focus on Monk/Druid I miss the guided focus on technique, practicing one thing until it became natural. I’ve been saying I should do x and could do y.It is decided, I’m signing up for an adult ballet class for Wednesday!

  • Ned Martell

    I want to be a Warrior-Monk. Could I do this with strength training and Boxing?

  • Vashti

    I’m a hobbit. I’m 4’9″, kind of “soft”, second breakfast, anyone? I’d like to be a combination Druid/Ninja. I’ve completed The Color Run and Warrior Dash using a method that can only be described as “wogging”. I’m hoping to slim down, build muscle and finish more 5ks with class and style, instead of dragging myself across the finish line and requiring 48 hours to recover. Also, yoga…because I’m 42 (The Answer!) and I don’t want to have aches and pains like I’m 70 already. Here’s to fabulous at 50!

    In addition, my first book will be published this year. Its nearly finished, with some editing to be completed and I’m nearing the point where I can talk to a cover designer. I need to get my act in gear and punch a hole in my comfort zone so I can get this thing done. Because I started reading the Level Up Your Life book, today I’m leaving the Phase I Underpants Gnomes and signing up to speak at TEDx. I’m terrified….but it’s what I need to take this to the next level, give myself some deadlines regarding my book publishing and to get my message out there.

  • Jordan Williams

    I am a warrior but REALLY want to be a scout…. it’s a long journey so far.

  • astra

    I’ve been told I’m a Fat Fucked Up Lesbian

  • Royale

    I think I AM A MONK

  • Royale

    actually i AM A Ranger

  • Ryan Cuda

    Can I choose ‘paladin’? That’s what I usually choose in RPGs. I am 6′ 215lbs, 32 years old and enjoy home brewing beer. Maybe alchemist would be more fitting? To be fair, I must admit — I am a US military veteran and have had six pack abs at multiple points over the years, mostly while I was deployed, there was no beer, and I had nothing better to do with my time/money than take supplements and work out (when I wasn’t working or being shot at). At my heaviest (and leanest) I weighed 230 pounds and was a little under 10% bf and I was a monster. However, aside from the economical impracticality and the ticking time bomb of long term health issues from excessive use of dangerous (and in many cases now banned) supplements like Jack3d and old N.O. Xplod, those results were not “real”. They weren’t sustainable. And most of all they were not a healthy long term lifestyle. As soon as I would get home from deployment and had to shift gears from full time gym rat to full time dad, I deflated. I lost over 20 pounds of what I assume was creatine induced water weight and started getting the love handles and spare tire again. Now that I am no longer in the military, I have a lucrative job working in “the cloud” I am finding it harder and harder to maintain a healthy balance in life with my largely sedentary job. Couple that with the fact that I am now over thirty, and my metabolism isn’t what it used to be, I’ve really struggled lately to stay in shape.

    As far as my fitness routine, I’ve recently dedicated my lwotkouts wholeheartedly to the Olympic barbell. I also aspire to compete in the ironman someday. I have completed multiple half marathons, but injured my hip over training for the full marathon last year and am still recuperating.

    I discovered your site and really clicked with the article about Zelda 1 relating to fitness goals. I’ve recently discovered that just because I technically can lift 230 lbs doesn’t mean I am ready for that. I’ve gone back to basics and am finding that working with lower weight and proper form is far more beneficial (seeing results) than doing a couple reps at a weight I’m not 100% comfortable with and having atrocious form.

  • จรัญ จอมวงศ์
  • emilt

    Honestly, this is my third time getting fascinated with fitness all over again- the first time I’m actually 18- and each stint has kinda altered my race for the next if you know what I mean. So, this time around, probably more of a hobbit, but with a ‘slightly’ slower metabolism. And I want to become a Ranger/Assassin. This’ll be fun.

  • Glenn Whiting

    Oh wow, this is kind of necroposting, but the whole RPG class thing is kind of a good analogy. Much of my workout goals would be structured around hunting, so I guess a ranger would be a good comparison. I don’t need to be able to lift the equivalent of a small car, but I do need to be able to cover ground, including uphill and downhill several hundred feet, with around 100 additional pounds on my back. So a blend of strength and steady endurance.

  • http://www.geardaemon.tumblr.com/ Knichtus

    Hmm I’m a warrior by genetics, i am born with natural strength, im short and stocky and building muscle wouldn’t be hard. I am also naturally stealthy, noone usually hears me enter the room being i am light on my feet despite my weight, I also used to climb trees. (Considering im 5’2″ that was a feat LOL) Some I’m a Warrior/Assassin naturally, However I would love to throw Monk into that mix I love the idea of getting strong and feel no need to pay attention to weight loss but I also want to climb and do crazy things. I love dogs so being able to be more active with them would be great. I want to be like…I dunno a werewolf? Or a were…ferret? LOL Since they are agile, strong, tanky, many of them are good fighters.

  • heavy2

    “Why?

    Because I can, and because it makes me happy.”

    Nuff’ said… I like to THINK that I’m a scout, but really, I’m more of an overweight kind of person. (As per nickname anyway). Interesting hybrids, though there are so many classes in D&D that applying each one to real life is almost insane. In-depth, I think that there could’ve been priests (or healers, but I think that druids could cover that up some how…) that would be real life doctors and medics… I don’t know… Warriors seen to mix a lot of different types, some more no-nonsense, in-your-face attitude while others are more of freedom fighters (you could hear about them in real life). As for me, it’s very hard to go into the “My own class”style, but I really would like to lose weight and be built for endurance, or if all else fails become a ranger.