Real-Life Role Playing: What is Your Profession?

What do you want to be when you grow up?

Today, let’s delve deep into the nerd aspect of Nerd Fitness and turn life into a giant role-playing game.  Why?  Because it’s damn fun, nerdy, and quite applicable.  If you’ve played World of Warcraft, Everquest, Final Fantasy, or practically any fantasy-based RPG this article will feel right at home.

If you have no clue what I’m talking about, this will still be a fun exercise for you.

Let’s get started.

Your Race is Already Determined

Before you pick your profession, let’s talk about your “race.” Every RPG always has elves, hobbits, ogres, trolls, humans, wood elves, night elves, etc.  Each race has their own particular attributes that make them who they are.  Take a look in the mirror RIGHT NOW.  That’s your race.  300 pounds overweight, 50 pounds underweight, average, tall, short, beer gut, 6-pack abs, etc.  These are attributes about yourself that you cannot change immediately, so that’s your starting point.  Depending on your “race,” certain professions will be easier or harder for you to obtain.

Here’s an example: If you are an ogre (really tall and quite overweight), it’s going to be more work for you to become a really good Assassin (Parkour traceur), but if you’re willing to put the time in, anything is possible.  Maybe you’re an elf (incredibly thin) and you want to be a super-strong Warrior.  You’re going to need to spend months and months eating insane amounts of calories and lifting heavy weights to get results, but it is possible.

Make sense? Good!  Let’s check out the different professions.

Warrior

Lego Warrior

This tank is incredibly strong and powerful, pushing weight like it’s his job.

Which is good, because it IS his job.  If you ever see any battle, warriors are the first responders, defending their party while attacking the enemy.  Strong as an ox, Warriors constantly try to push themselves to be bigger, better, stronger.  Eating and lifting are the only two things Warriors worry about.  You do NOT want to go punch for punch with a Warrior.  You will get destroyed.

Primary attributes: Strength, power

Training: Pure strength-building weight training.

Real life example: Any World’s Strongest Man competitor.

Scout

Lego Scout

Scouts can cover great distances in a short amount of time.

Built for distance and efficiency rather than strength and power, these guys can outlast any animal on the planet.  They eat a diet higher in carbohydrates than most (though they can still be healthy carbs!) to give them enough fuel to survive these grueling treks cross-country, and their muscles are designed to last for hours rather than minutes or seconds (like a Warrior).  A growing contingent of scouts have moved to barefoot running, returning to their ancient ancestral roots.

Primary attributes: Stamina, endurance.

Training: Lots of distance training, long bike rides, high volume exercises with any sort of weight training.

Real life example: Marathon runners, Ironman athletes.

Ranger

Ranger Lego

Rangers are a hybrid of Warriors and Scouts, built for strength AND endurance.

A jack-of-all-trades but master of none, Rangers are well-equipped for any situation.  Their weight training revolves around varying the reps, sets, and downtime to continually force those body to adapt to new situations.  Usually Rangers follow a Paleo Diet, eating things that can only be found in nature.  Thanks to this type of training and diet, Rangers have incredibly low body-fat percentages.

Primary attributes: Functional strength, adaptability.

Training: Lots of weight training but with minimal downtime (think crossfit and 300 training).

Real Life example: Gerard Butler in 300.

Assassin

Lego Assassin

To assassins, the world is one giant playground.

Every building can be climbed, every gap can be jumped, every obstacle can be conquered.  Assassins spend most of their time training with functional body weight exercises as that’s usually the only thing they need to lift.

Fearless, calculated, and efficient, Assassins have low body fat percentages because extra weight could mean the difference between life and death on a mission.  They have solid endurance as well, allowing them to progress through an obstacle-filled environment without breaking a sweat.

Primary Attributes: Agility, stamina

Training: Parkour, free running, rock climbing.

Real World example: Parkour traceurs, free runners, most athletes on Ninja Warrior.

Monk

Lego Monk

This isn’t the type of monk you’d want to run into on a bad day…

These monks can kick your ass with their fists and feet, and they will do it before you even knew what happened.  Incredibly agile, lightning fast, and loaded with power, Monks specialize in martial arts to stay in shape and destroy the opposition.

Training is mostly spent in dojos and in the ring, with some weight training thrown in to help produce stronger punches and kicks.  Monks only carry enough weight and muscle to provide maximum efficiency with each attack.  Muscles are compact and powerful, core strength is high, and speed is favored over size.

Primary Attributes: Agility, power

Training: MMA, Capoeria, Muay Thai boxing, Tai Kwon Do

Real life example:Georges St. Pierre (MMA fighter).

Druid

Lego Druid

Druids are one with nature.

Oftentimes consuming a plant-only diet, they specialize in being one with themselves, finding balance in everything.  These peaceful folk spend a majority of their time training in the arts of yoga, meditation, and tai chi.  Strength training is only done if necessary, as  most druids aren’t interested in massive muscles or explosive power.  Druids also follow a minimalist diet, high in vegetables, fruits, and nuts.  Some eat meat, but only enough to get sufficient protein.  Processed foods are the enemy.

Primary attributes: agility, flexibility

Training: meditation, yoga, tai chi

Real life example: Yogis, tai chi instructors

My Profession

Lego Berserker

I was born an elf (thin, tough to build muscle), and I want to be a Warrior/Ranger hybrid…let’s call it a Berzerker class?

I’m generally a pretty happy, calm, goofy guy.  But when I’m in training mode, I turn on berserker mode: I start foaming at the mouth, I walk around with this crazy look in my eye, and I push myself hard than I ever thought possible.

I focus on lift like squats, deadlifts, presses, handstand push ups, pull ups, dips, and chin ups.  I vary my rep range and downtime between sets to build strength, power, and muscle size.  I mix in assassin (gymnastics) training and monk (capoeira) training whenever possible.

Sure, it’d be a much quicker path for me to become a scout (as I already have the body type), but I love getting stronger and training in things that I truly enjoy, so I picked a different direction.

Why?

Because I can, and because it makes me happy.

How About You?

Profession

Leave a comment with your current race and what profession you’d like to be. 

I picked six classes up above to keep things simple, but let me know if I left out one that should be in there.  Feel free to combine two classes like I did as well.  Just so we’re clear: all classes are gender-neutral, so you can be a female warrior or male druid.  There are no restrictions!

Once you have your profession selected, feel free to join us in the Nerd Fitness message boards (it’s free!) and join up with your guild!  

Want to take things a step further?  

Check out Rising Heroes, a game/program/community of sorts we’re developing around this very idea…

So, I ask you: “What is your PROFESSION!?”

-Steve

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Photo: KennyMatic, Lego berserkerWarrior Lego, Scout Lego, Ranger Legos, Druid Lego, Lego Assassin, Lego Monk, Lego Profession

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  • Teddy Love

    My race, I think, would be half-orc. With my being 6 feet tall and 285 lbs at 19 years old. OH, did i mention I’m a girl too. It would make the most sense to embrace my orc-blood and be a warrior (complete with a battle ax) but I find Ranger fits me better. Now, will that stop me from pulling my (human) Assassin lover to a Druid temple? HA! Never!

  • Tina

    definitely want to be a Scout/Ranger..stamina, endurance, and muscle, not too much though. Still want to look feminine not bulky

  • jeny arce

    I’m a ranger!!!!!! But this ranger need help
    ..can’t focus any more keep trying but I’m getting heavier and no energy to go at least for a jog…. help please… what’s wrong??!!!

  • Krystyl Randall

    I’m really not sure what I am currently because right now I’m so bad I’m lucky I can walk 2 blocks without falling over wheezing from the exertion. However, as a kid and teenager I was a cross between the assassin and the monk. I would like to get back into this lifestyle again.

  • DragonMomAmanda

    Definitely going to go with human race, I don’t think any other race is this darn busty without being very round as well… Average height for a girl at 5’4″, fluctuate between 135-155 in my weight which SUCKS! I’ve got the mommy belly from 2 kids and totally hate how I look in a 2 piece now. I already love yoga so definitely going with druid (low level unfortunately, I’ve only been to a few beginner classes but definitely want more!), but I also want to add strength & stamina so I’m thinking a Ranger/Druid hybrid if I’m being optimistic…

  • Cowgirlsdntcry4u

    Well for now I am probably an ogre. I am a woman but Im 6’1 over 200 lbs (now)with a long thin frame but broad thick shoulders and hips. I have had a very unhealthy relationship with food for years,I was overweight between the ages of 12 and 16 when i had a growth spurt and i ate alot of junk to fill the lonliness of not having any friends,then at 16 i started working out and eating hehealthy and losing weight but still contcontinually got teased for my height ,stature,and weight,I became anorexic and bulimic and got down to 78 lbs at over 6ft tall. At 18 I met my husband and became healthy again,istill ate right and exercised but didnt obsess. then i got pregnant,had the baby lost the weight,got pregnant,had the baby lost the weight, got fitter,got pregnant again. After thst i couldn’t get rid of mom belly and have loose skin that makes me uncomfortable mentally and physically. Then some personal relationship and financial issues depressed me and i have been steadily eating more and more unhealthy foods and soda and moving less and less. I have always trained wild unhandled and abused horses ,it is my passion and my dream to do it professionally but since i have gained all of this weight i do not have the strength,balance or stamina to keep up without feeling like I am going to pass out and my joints hurt pop and creak and im only 28.Worse than that I am too tired and sick all of the time to play with my kids. So today I say no more, no food,depression, or physical pain or illness will stop me I want to become a fit and healthy RANGER!

  • Jason Murray

    What would the combination of an Assassin, Druid & Monk be? Because that would be awesome (i.e. what I’d like to train towards).

  • norm

    I think assassin monk work for me

  • Midge

    Lmao, I’m wondering what my race is.
    See, I know that by profession I’m a warrior/monk hybrid with MMA, powerlifting, weightlifting, and wrestling. Not sure what you’d call that, since your warrior/ranger hybrid would be the berserker class.

    I’m a lass, very short (5’1″), stocky/muscular in the sense that I’m built like Rin Nakai and I gain muscle and strength really easily. Would I be a dwarf, a halfling, or a gnome?

    Does anyone know what my mixture of professions would be, and what exact race I would fall under?

  • Midge

    Additional information: Broad sturdy shoulders/hips. small, very defined waist, large/quads calves/glutes and traps, short limbs, prominent arms (biceps and whatnot).
    Overall short but sturdy frame.

  • Midge

    Additionally, I’ve never been overweight/prone to storing excess adipose. Bantamweight at 135 pounds.

  • Summers Barkley

    I’m a half-elven Mage…. my training includes studying physics at a university to better myself with the forces and video games for focus.

    Mage LFG. I can CC all day, while fireballing people in the face.

  • Jessica

    I’m probably a weak ranger, looking to hone my skills, agility, endurance, and grace. I was tempted to say assassin because I love bodyweight exercises and Ninja Warrior. I was also gonna say monk because I love Krav Maga. But Ranger fits this nerdy chick!

  • Jessica

    I absolutely love the RPG idea. It’s very motivating. Just don’t rummage anyone’s home for items…

  • Jessica

    Also, don’t know if we’re starting off with races, but… I don’t really know. I’m probably just a human! Haha

  • Alex

    Definitely feel like I’m a Dwarf;

    Short (5’6″), broad shouldered, ponchy

    And I would like to become a cross between Assassin and Ranger. Rogue perhaps? Adaptability, functional strength, stamina, agility.

    Alex

  • LikeUrTypical

    I might be a short Ogre, maybe. I’m 5’3″, and about 155. I sort of want to be a Assassin/Monk hybrid. And for me it’s true with the assasin part: the world is one giant playground.

  • Sean

    Ogre wanting to be a Warrior/Assasin hybrid. Strong but able to free run.

  • Sean

    Ogre now but want to be a Warrior/Assasin hybrid. Strong but agile.

  • Heather Tavary

    I want to be a druid/warrior. I am a half ogre half huma, not really tall, 5 ft 9 in have recently lost 120 lb, still have a bit to go and need to firm up. I have given birth to to full size ogres an one human and my adopted children are elves. Every shape and size and we all want to get in shape my 17 year old daughter is 5 ft, 75 lb and runs cross country. My 15 yr old daughter is 6th 1in, and thick with the shoulders of a Linebacker 14 yr old son I’d 5 ft 7 in and 110 lb and only reads but likes to hike. And my 11 yr old son is 4 ft 11 in and 120 and is a gamer. And the baby is 7, 4 ft 7 in 110 lb has the shoulders of a linebacker and on top of that wears a men’s 7 shoe. This is going to be fun we are a big RPG family started then young with D&D. Let the games begin.

  • Juan Martinez

    probably a half-elf (started out really skinny) Assassin-in-training

  • jessbear84

    My race is definitely a dwarf: a very well fed dwarf who found some cushy parchment job and hasn’t done much to keep up his Dwarf-en physique. But now that the treasury is cutting back on scroll-keepers, I am looking to go with the classic dwarf-en profession of warrior.

  • saraphinaonwheels

    Dwarven mother seeking the path of the druid. It certainly is a challenge to be graceful and flexible with such a stocky race, but I look forward to yoga, belly dancing, and skipping the processed foods. I promise though, I’ll keep clean shaven!

  • Stephen Dorsey

    I’m an Orc, kinda runtish for an Orc since I’m only 5’11″. Though, I’m 275 lbs, and I put on muscle fairly well. I’d like to be a Ranger/Druid combo. I like the idea of lean muscle, and I like to meditate and do yoga–not big on martial arts, though. I play guitar, so I need to protect my hands. They’re my preciouses.

  • Stephen Dorsey

    Amazing article too Steve. I love having a visualization of the body I want, and this does the job perfectly!

  • marymama08

    I believe I am a gnome. I have a largish belly, I like silly hats and I like being in the sun, enjoying flowers and doing nothing to help them grow. I want to be an assassin. I want to ride my bike for miles and miles because it is fun. I want to lift what needs lifting and open a jar with a single twist. I also want to try new things and feel confident in giving it a go. Mostly right now I want to try rock climbing. Some time next year I want to try a mini triathlon. I also want to do a warrior dash of some kind. I have started my path to be an assassin with the Star Wars work out. I am really liking it. I was able to level up today and it felt awesome.

  • Michael R

    Assassin is what I am, its quite fun to know that when normal people look at a building they say “wish I could climb that.” When I look at things like buildings and fire escapes I say “Challenge Accepted!”

  • Jenn

    I am a hobbit- short and petite. I would like to be an assassin.. Is that possible?

  • MetaKnight

    I’m not sure what my race is, I’m only 5’2, and about 40 lbs heavier than I should be, which all goes to my legs and stomach. Maybe a gnome? Either way though it’ll be difficult I’m leaning towards being an assassin/monk hybrid. I love hand-to-hand fighting but the agility and stamina of being an assassin really speaks to me.

  • Jenn

    I am a Warrior but cannot decide between the Ranger, Assassin or Scout.

  • Emily Champoux

    I’m not sure where I fit. My favorite exercises previously have been aerobics & Zumba, along with vinyasa yoga. There doesn’t seem to be a category for “crazy dancing freak” lol.

  • Emily Champoux

    I’m either a dwarf or a hobbit.

  • Ectomorpheus

    Take it one step further and sign up with HabitRPG.com (thats how i found out about this site. Great way of treating your fitness (or any goals) like an RPG.

  • Bee Nicki

    Im a human at the moment but I want to be an assassin. Im training to prove a point. I was rold I couldnt change and it made me realize that there are things I need to fix. Hopefully training will improve me mentally as well as physically

  • Anni Fischer

    I am an adventurer.

  • Alice Cuddy

    So I’m just a boring old human atm, slim but weak and much less toned than I’d like to be. Ideally, one day I want go be an assassin! But my body is probably better suited to bring a ranger as I can walk for miles and miles. Going to keep up the dream of assassin one day though!

  • Ella-maye

    Assassin/Yogi here – In fact I think you might have pinned yoga down wrong in the profiles above. A good assassin must be limber, graceful, and centered. I have never been one to crush obstacles before me but have learned to bend around and leap above them.

  • Hyath

    What about a Bard class, incorporating dancing (modern, ballroom, ballet, hip hop, break dancing, etc.) and dance-like exercise, like Zumba, and Capoeira?

  • Tina

    You forgot the Adventurer here

  • C. Sullivan

    Hmm. No one seems to have commented on this thread in a while, but I’m new around here and this looks like fun…okay, I’m average height for a woman and only 15 lbs overweight at the moment, so I don’t know, maybe I’m only human? Or maybe a half elf, considering how little body strength I have ^_^;; As far as class, I think I’d like to be a combination between a Ranger and a Druid. I already like to alternate strength training with light weights with yoga and cardio, and I also like to eat a low calorie middle of the road sort-of-diet with lots of fruits and veggies, a light amount of protein, and lots of whole grains. I eat raw/whole foods whenever I can help it (processed foods are the enemy–exactly! I’ve already lost over 10 lbs this summer just by cutting them out).

  • Shadow914

    My current race would probably be a dwarf. I would love to become a monk/scout hybrid.

  • Evo

    Trying to be Ranger/Monk. Sounds pretty awesome.

  • Alex Gavin English

    I guess I could say I am a hobbit/human? Haha I’m considered short but not too short and I used to be a bit on the big side but now I am just average. Anywho I am working towards being a Ranger Assassin!! Right now I am running in my nearby track aiming to increase distance rather than speed at least while my left knee recovers and then I want to focus on both.

  • TheShadow

    My race is very much a hobbit. My nickname with my friends is hobbit because I only come in at 4’9″ and 106 pounds. I wouldn’t go so far as to say a hobbit/elf because I’ve always been able to build muscle. However, I’m not a fat hobbit. I’m just beginning to push into the pudge zone. I also tend to be overly fond of sweets.

    I would love to be an assassin/monk hybrid. I really want to lean out, because while 106 pounds doesn’t sound like a lot, it looks like a lot on me. Besides, I imagine myself as a fusion between Edward Kenway (Assassin’s Creed: Black Flag) and old Obi Wan Kenobi (if they were female though).

    Jedi Assassin for the win!