Real-Life Role Playing: What is Your Profession?

What do you want to be when you grow up?

Today, let’s delve deep into the nerd aspect of Nerd Fitness and turn life into a giant role-playing game.  Why?  Because it’s damn fun, nerdy, and quite applicable.  If you’ve played World of Warcraft, Everquest, Final Fantasy, or practically any fantasy-based RPG this article will feel right at home.

If you have no clue what I’m talking about, this will still be a fun exercise for you.

Let’s get started.

Your Race is Already Determined

Before you pick your profession, let’s talk about your “race.” Every RPG always has elves, hobbits, ogres, trolls, humans, wood elves, night elves, etc.  Each race has their own particular attributes that make them who they are.  Take a look in the mirror RIGHT NOW.  That’s your race.  300 pounds overweight, 50 pounds underweight, average, tall, short, beer gut, 6-pack abs, etc.  These are attributes about yourself that you cannot change immediately, so that’s your starting point.  Depending on your “race,” certain professions will be easier or harder for you to obtain.

Here’s an example: If you are an ogre (really tall and quite overweight), it’s going to be more work for you to become a really good Assassin (Parkour traceur), but if you’re willing to put the time in, anything is possible.  Maybe you’re an elf (incredibly thin) and you want to be a super-strong Warrior.  You’re going to need to spend months and months eating insane amounts of calories and lifting heavy weights to get results, but it is possible.

Make sense? Good!  Let’s check out the different professions.

Warrior

Lego Warrior

This tank is incredibly strong and powerful, pushing weight like it’s his job.

Which is good, because it IS his job.  If you ever see any battle, warriors are the first responders, defending their party while attacking the enemy.  Strong as an ox, Warriors constantly try to push themselves to be bigger, better, stronger.  Eating and lifting are the only two things Warriors worry about.  You do NOT want to go punch for punch with a Warrior.  You will get destroyed.

Primary attributes: Strength, power

Training: Pure strength-building weight training.

Real life example: Any World’s Strongest Man competitor.

Scout

Lego Scout

Scouts can cover great distances in a short amount of time.

Built for distance and efficiency rather than strength and power, these guys can outlast any animal on the planet.  They eat a diet higher in carbohydrates than most (though they can still be healthy carbs!) to give them enough fuel to survive these grueling treks cross-country, and their muscles are designed to last for hours rather than minutes or seconds (like a Warrior).  A growing contingent of scouts have moved to barefoot running, returning to their ancient ancestral roots.

Primary attributes: Stamina, endurance.

Training: Lots of distance training, long bike rides, high volume exercises with any sort of weight training.

Real life example: Marathon runners, Ironman athletes.

Ranger

Ranger Lego

Rangers are a hybrid of Warriors and Scouts, built for strength AND endurance.

A jack-of-all-trades but master of none, Rangers are well-equipped for any situation.  Their weight training revolves around varying the reps, sets, and downtime to continually force those body to adapt to new situations.  Usually Rangers follow a Paleo Diet, eating things that can only be found in nature.  Thanks to this type of training and diet, Rangers have incredibly low body-fat percentages.

Primary attributes: Functional strength, adaptability.

Training: Lots of weight training but with minimal downtime (think crossfit and 300 training).

Real Life example: Gerard Butler in 300.

Assassin

Lego Assassin

To assassins, the world is one giant playground.

Every building can be climbed, every gap can be jumped, every obstacle can be conquered.  Assassins spend most of their time training with functional body weight exercises as that’s usually the only thing they need to lift.

Fearless, calculated, and efficient, Assassins have low body fat percentages because extra weight could mean the difference between life and death on a mission.  They have solid endurance as well, allowing them to progress through an obstacle-filled environment without breaking a sweat.

Primary Attributes: Agility, stamina

Training: Parkour, free running, rock climbing.

Real World example: Parkour traceurs, free runners, most athletes on Ninja Warrior.

Monk

Lego Monk

This isn’t the type of monk you’d want to run into on a bad day…

These monks can kick your ass with their fists and feet, and they will do it before you even knew what happened.  Incredibly agile, lightning fast, and loaded with power, Monks specialize in martial arts to stay in shape and destroy the opposition.

Training is mostly spent in dojos and in the ring, with some weight training thrown in to help produce stronger punches and kicks.  Monks only carry enough weight and muscle to provide maximum efficiency with each attack.  Muscles are compact and powerful, core strength is high, and speed is favored over size.

Primary Attributes: Agility, power

Training: MMA, Capoeria, Muay Thai boxing, Tai Kwon Do

Real life example:Georges St. Pierre (MMA fighter).

Druid

Lego Druid

Druids are one with nature.

Oftentimes consuming a plant-only diet, they specialize in being one with themselves, finding balance in everything.  These peaceful folk spend a majority of their time training in the arts of yoga, meditation, and tai chi.  Strength training is only done if necessary, as  most druids aren’t interested in massive muscles or explosive power.  Druids also follow a minimalist diet, high in vegetables, fruits, and nuts.  Some eat meat, but only enough to get sufficient protein.  Processed foods are the enemy.

Primary attributes: agility, flexibility

Training: meditation, yoga, tai chi

Real life example: Yogis, tai chi instructors

My Profession

Lego Berserker

I was born an elf (thin, tough to build muscle), and I want to be a Warrior/Ranger hybrid…let’s call it a Berzerker class?

I’m generally a pretty happy, calm, goofy guy.  But when I’m in training mode, I turn on berserker mode: I start foaming at the mouth, I walk around with this crazy look in my eye, and I push myself hard than I ever thought possible.

I focus on lift like squats, deadlifts, presses, handstand push ups, pull ups, dips, and chin ups.  I vary my rep range and downtime between sets to build strength, power, and muscle size.  I mix in assassin (gymnastics) training and monk (capoeira) training whenever possible.

Sure, it’d be a much quicker path for me to become a scout (as I already have the body type), but I love getting stronger and training in things that I truly enjoy, so I picked a different direction.

Why?

Because I can, and because it makes me happy.

How About You?

Profession

Leave a comment with your current race and what profession you’d like to be. 

I picked six classes up above to keep things simple, but let me know if I left out one that should be in there.  Feel free to combine two classes like I did as well.  Just so we’re clear: all classes are gender-neutral, so you can be a female warrior or male druid.  There are no restrictions!

Once you have your profession selected, feel free to join us in the Nerd Fitness message boards (it’s free!) and join up with your guild!  

Want to take things a step further?  

Check out the Nerd Fitness Academy, where you can actually pick your class, complete quests, gain experience, and yes…level up!

So, I ask you: “What is your PROFESSION!?”

-Steve

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Photo: KennyMatic, Lego berserkerWarrior Lego, Scout Lego, Ranger Legos, Druid Lego, Lego Assassin, Lego Monk, Lego Profession

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  • Ricky Knable

    I am a stocky only 5’11″(think human hight, dwarf build). I have trained as a warrior for years. I am thinking of cross classing warrior/monk or going ranger. Currently I train movement and gymnastics 3-4 days a week, and add in 2 heavy lifting days to keep my strength. I also teach and train acroyoga between 3-5 hrs a week.

  • Teeradet Khaongam
  • http://mistysnotafuckingunicorn.tumblr.com Anonymous

    I’m an elf who wants to be (is going to be) a kickass assassin.

  • Kiranraj

    I want to be an assasin

  • http://www.google.com/+derekbrown42 raistlinsghost

    So I am naturally an ectomorph. 5’6″, small boned, weight currently at 125. I’m a little dude. I see myself as a Scout/Druid dual class, as I am a runner and daily yoga practitioner. My goal would be to move to a Ranger class, put on some more lean muscle weight, and still be able to run and practice, hopefully improve at both with greater strength.

    Btw, I am finding the site to be super useful and hope to use it as a resource as I make my way towards my quest’s end. 😉

  • Ricky Knable

    Update, I decided ranger, not the bow and arrow type, I am talking D&D 3.5 duel wield. With news I will be moving to the mountains of Colorado in less then a year it only seems fitting. Joining the academy on friday to start leveling up!

  • NoOne

    I am an elven mystic assassin (monk/druid/assassin).
    Self-defence, meditation and movement arts (parkour, natural movement and yoga) are an important part of my life/way/path.

  • Flithy Nobeard

    Going for a Warrior and Scout love child. I too will call this a Berserker (fitting as I am easy to upset). This is gonna be good.

  • Kacie Denea

    This is the only place I could find somewhere to write, I ordered my nerd fitness package a week ago and still haven’t been accepted in the private Facebook group for women, is there anyway to fix this?

  • Ryan

    I think I’m an orc/ogre. 325lbs and 6ft tall, with broad shoulders. I wanna be a warrior/monk hybrid. I started last week. The level 1 journey begins!

  • จมาพันธ์ ชูตา
  • Teeradet Khaongam
  • redlobster

    My goal is to be a ranger/druid combo, with equal parts strength and endurance, clearly strong but more lean than big. Basically a strong super-hiker who meditates a lot.

  • Jennifer D. Atkinson

    I’m an Ogre, currently, but I think I’d like to be an assassin/ranger.

  • XLR8 the world

    i know right… i’m only a freshman and it’s hard even for me to find time

  • XLR8 the world

    I’m like a elf that is slightly more muscular than the average elf but still an elf none the less my goal is to be a assassin! ASSASSIN ALL THE FREAKING WAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • XLR8 the world

    my body will always break first

  • XLR8 the world

    seriously though i have like more will power than green lantern

  • Natasha Trevilcock

    Not sure what race I am. I’m 5’5.5″ tall, and I currently weigh 174 lbs encompassed in a potential hourglass figure.

    I would like to work towards being a Ranger/Assassin! =0)

  • Alice

    So I am probably a dwarf, short and stout and dangerous over short distances heh heh heh would like to be a ranger with a but of monk and druid thrown in. but will focus on the ranger side of things first me thinks.

  • http://www.socratezonline.com/ Socratez

    You forgot the almighty Shaman!

    My definition: Eating a plant based diet with the occasional magic mushroom to communicate with the Spirit world. Shamans also harness their Spirit energy to amplify the physical through the spiritual. I guess I’m a warrior hybrid because I also like to do some lifting (though I’m built as an assassin). Great stuff by the way. Really loved this post!

  • www.bestgreenssupplement.com

    Wanna be a Ranger, just started Crossfit – I can do it…!!!

  • Anna

    I’m pretty curvy for a girl I guess, but I am on 31.4% body fat; and want to get down to 20% body fat – I’m pretty short too; about 157 or 5’4? Oh, and I’m 16? I just have fat in certain places yet, I’m on the normal side I guess… my bone structure leans more on the smaller side, but I’m don’t have thin bones? What would my race be? Is it a Dwarf?

  • https://www.youtube.com/AngelaGraceRose EllaEnchanted13

    Honestly, I have no clue which one I am. I want to start being Paleo, so I would probably be a Ranger, but I can also see myself as a Druid but I don’t know the first thing about meditation or tai chi. I have always wanted to learn though. The things I have done in the gym are the elliptical, leg curlers, leg presses, sit ups, assisted pull ups, leg lifts, ab and butt workouts..what class would I be in, then? I hope someone answers me because this is a huge dilemma for me.

  • Matt

    Just for an RPG lesson, a ranger assassin is called a slayer. It’s my goto pathfinder class

  • parallelDiversity

    I’m a hobbit (short, very chub who loves food and sleep) and would love to become a Druid Ranger. The plus side to letting go of processed foods and gluten-based carbs is that they are honestly starting to make me sick. Not to an intolerance level, but just that the feeling after eating those foods isn’t worth the awesome taste in my mouth.

    I am a college student so stress gets me bad, but luckily, going to the gym is as good as a visit to my therapist. My only problem is motivating these nasty pounds off.

  • Enjo

    I’m a gnome or dwarf because I am short and love food too much. I love life, nature, balance, etc so what I am going for is Druid/Monk. I have a black belt in Tae Kwon Do that I let lapse :( But, I am a peaceful healer, prankster, creative type. Not right now, but inside and what I used to be before I ate too much. So I think I will become a wood sprite (which is a short, playful, nature type elf) that is a Druid/Monk. Though, instead of martial arts, maybe I will do dance and yoga with some body weight stuff thrown in to the mix. Love the article ^-^

  • Kiran

    I made up hunter, kinda like ranger. You are quick and stealthy, but you aren’t very strong.

  • Mark Cooper

    I want to become the athletic/strong type. I am also studying to be a gym/fitness instructor but this is taking me a lot longer due to recovering from an assault… If I was to be a complete novice in routines and regimes, but wanted the beginners guide to fitness training (not too stressful as still in recovery) What would you suggest? this also applies to anyone who has an idea of helping me become stronger/fitter 😀

  • Denis da Silva

    i am more a an assassin but incorporate ranger and monk principles to my workout routine

  • Matteo

    race: human : average height, my dex and str are under the average. My race of choice has always been mage (of course I’m squishy like a mage)so I’m goig to respec as a Monk/warrior hybrid(I’ve been doing kick boxing for a year and that helped me to boost my dex a bit and I would like to add more str and res).

  • Matteo

    edit: I don’t know if assassin or warrior would be the right way to complement my monk training. What do you think?

  • Jestin Crawley

    I want to become stronger and more in shape but I’m not interested in “big muscles and a six pack”. I was born skinny, grew tall and then gained weight so I’ve probably been through a few, so elf turned human/orc hoping to work back to half-elf haha.
    The class is also a mix. less interested in big muscles, but interested in some strength/endurance training and martial arts. So a Ranger/Monk type thing then?

  • Alex V

    Ah, this is an excellent and inspiring little distraction. I’m an elf for sure, and currently training to be an Assassin. The instructors at my parkour gym- Urban Evolution, for those interested, the place is incredible- they’ve taught me how to do all sorts of things that I otherwise would have written off as fake movie stunts. The best part, though, is how it applies to real life.

    I’m not talking about dashing through city streets, kicking off of walls and vaulting over chain-link fences. I mean your average everyday walking around life. Every time I jump, or balance on something, or grab onto some object to pull myself up- I can feel that power, that energy, that knowledge flowing through me. Even something as simple as going up and down stairs can trigger it. Parkour is about knowing how to handle your own body, so it applies to every situation. Assassin isn’t just how I exercise anymore- it’s how I live. And I imagine that training as any of these classes would have a similar effect.

  • Pingback: Create Your Free Nerd Fitness Character Now! | Nerd Fitness()

  • Adam

    I’m an Elf but I would like to be a Ranger. I just got back from a 3-day winter backpacking trip at the Laurel Highlands Hiking Trail in PA. 25 miles with about 50 lb on my back. Kicked my butt…but always a good time. I’d like to be in a place where this type of thing would be no problem.

  • Jeremy Richardson

    D&D Tiefling, Druid/Ranger combo. If there are any good ways to mix that.

  • Sergei

    Would it be possible to ad a wizard or sorcerer who focus is building brain power and knowledge? I would have to say I’m a Half orc, but I want to be a half-elf ranger. I’m good at staying physically fit, But not keeping mentally fit, I consider myself a nerd jock hybrid, I call it a jerk. I know it’s called NerdFitness But the Brain is the most powerful muscle in the human body. I hope you see this message and consider it.

  • Cinder

    Just joined the rebellion feel like Bilbo when he leaves the Shire. “I’m going on an adventure!”

    Am I a dwarf? I am only 5’5 and at least 30 pounds over weight. Everyone is shocked by how much I can lift, but my stamina is pretty poor.

    Still deciding if I want to do assassin/Druid or monk/Druid…
    On one hand I would like to learn self defense, but I would be jumping at the chance to get skills like the characters in assassins creed. Any thoughts?

  • Sergei

    I would do the easier one and after I experience success, I would do the harder one. A Monk/Druid with the skills of an assassin.

  • Gimli

    Ogre Warriour: trains like a ranger, seeking to become a monk.
    Hantalye, meldomelinde. Qapla’ be’nI’ loDnI’wI’ je!

  • Gimli

    Or articles aimed for each individual race would be good too.

  • Luiza Peters

    I’m like a hobbit, and want to be an assassin/druid hybrid. I practice kickboxing and yoga, run laps very often… I don’t go to gym but I should probably start doing that !

  • Molly

    I’m a human female hoping to be an assasin. Slightly chubby and not a whole lot of muscle -.- I’ve been training for a few weeks now an dim already feeling better for sure. One day!

  • Yahya Saadaoui
  • Joe Martin

    I’m not sure what race I am, I’m 5’11” and 160 lbs, pretty built, but don’t have abs or much definition. I see myself as a Ranger, I’m interested in developing several training methods so I can have endurance, strength, power, and static strength (calisthenics).

  • Joe Martin

    Also, Steve would you consider making a similar article, but it describes races(body types)? That would definitely interest me, and I think others might like it as well. Thanks Steve

  • http://www.ofwitandwriting.wordpress.com Kimberly

    I’m going to go ahead and call myself a Wood Elf because I’m not super tall, but I’m not short–and I’m quite thin, not as stocky as a “human” would be. I think I’d like to go for a Ranger/Assassin combo, because I want to be a bit of a jack-of-all-trades but with extra focus on being lithe and agile. (Also, parkour is just cool.)

    I’ll be training to get stronger (never benched/lifted anything in my life, and I’m a waif of a girl coming in at 115 pounds) with my main motivation being archery–I love it, but my upper body strength doesn’t exist. Time to go see if I can do a pull up.

  • BeholdMyGirth

    I’d say I’m an elf (tall & slender, but not exactly skinny). Rock climbing is my main hobby, and I alternate with weight training every other day to build functional strength, I guess that makes me a dual-class assassin / ranger, which sounds cool :)
    Great article, it actually really helped me realise what my training should be focused on to think about it as a character in an RPG :)