Real-Life Role Playing: What is Your Profession?

What do you want to be when you grow up?

Today, let’s delve deep into the nerd aspect of Nerd Fitness and turn life into a giant role-playing game.  Why?  Because it’s damn fun, nerdy, and quite applicable.  If you’ve played World of Warcraft, Everquest, Final Fantasy, or practically any fantasy-based RPG this article will feel right at home.

If you have no clue what I’m talking about, this will still be a fun exercise for you.

Let’s get started.

Your Race is Already Determined

Before you pick your profession, let’s talk about your “race.” Every RPG always has elves, hobbits, ogres, trolls, humans, wood elves, night elves, etc.  Each race has their own particular attributes that make them who they are.  Take a look in the mirror RIGHT NOW.  That’s your race.  300 pounds overweight, 50 pounds underweight, average, tall, short, beer gut, 6-pack abs, etc.  These are attributes about yourself that you cannot change immediately, so that’s your starting point.  Depending on your “race,” certain professions will be easier or harder for you to obtain.

Here’s an example: If you are an ogre (really tall and quite overweight), it’s going to be more work for you to become a really good Assassin (Parkour traceur), but if you’re willing to put the time in, anything is possible.  Maybe you’re an elf (incredibly thin) and you want to be a super-strong Warrior.  You’re going to need to spend months and months eating insane amounts of calories and lifting heavy weights to get results, but it is possible.

Make sense? Good!  Let’s check out the different professions.

Warrior

Lego Warrior

This tank is incredibly strong and powerful, pushing weight like it’s his job.

Which is good, because it IS his job.  If you ever see any battle, warriors are the first responders, defending their party while attacking the enemy.  Strong as an ox, Warriors constantly try to push themselves to be bigger, better, stronger.  Eating and lifting are the only two things Warriors worry about.  You do NOT want to go punch for punch with a Warrior.  You will get destroyed.

Primary attributes: Strength, power

Training: Pure strength-building weight training.

Real life example: Any World’s Strongest Man competitor.

Scout

Lego Scout

Scouts can cover great distances in a short amount of time.

Built for distance and efficiency rather than strength and power, these guys can outlast any animal on the planet.  They eat a diet higher in carbohydrates than most (though they can still be healthy carbs!) to give them enough fuel to survive these grueling treks cross-country, and their muscles are designed to last for hours rather than minutes or seconds (like a Warrior).  A growing contingent of scouts have moved to barefoot running, returning to their ancient ancestral roots.

Primary attributes: Stamina, endurance.

Training: Lots of distance training, long bike rides, high volume exercises with any sort of weight training.

Real life example: Marathon runners, Ironman athletes.

Ranger

Ranger Lego

Rangers are a hybrid of Warriors and Scouts, built for strength AND endurance.

A jack-of-all-trades but master of none, Rangers are well-equipped for any situation.  Their weight training revolves around varying the reps, sets, and downtime to continually force those body to adapt to new situations.  Usually Rangers follow a Paleo Diet, eating things that can only be found in nature.  Thanks to this type of training and diet, Rangers have incredibly low body-fat percentages.

Primary attributes: Functional strength, adaptability.

Training: Lots of weight training but with minimal downtime (think crossfit and 300 training).

Real Life example: Gerard Butler in 300.

Assassin

Lego Assassin

To assassins, the world is one giant playground.

Every building can be climbed, every gap can be jumped, every obstacle can be conquered.  Assassins spend most of their time training with functional body weight exercises as that’s usually the only thing they need to lift.

Fearless, calculated, and efficient, Assassins have low body fat percentages because extra weight could mean the difference between life and death on a mission.  They have solid endurance as well, allowing them to progress through an obstacle-filled environment without breaking a sweat.

Primary Attributes: Agility, stamina

Training: Parkour, free running, rock climbing.

Real World example: Parkour traceurs, free runners, most athletes on Ninja Warrior.

Monk

Lego Monk

This isn’t the type of monk you’d want to run into on a bad day…

These monks can kick your ass with their fists and feet, and they will do it before you even knew what happened.  Incredibly agile, lightning fast, and loaded with power, Monks specialize in martial arts to stay in shape and destroy the opposition.

Training is mostly spent in dojos and in the ring, with some weight training thrown in to help produce stronger punches and kicks.  Monks only carry enough weight and muscle to provide maximum efficiency with each attack.  Muscles are compact and powerful, core strength is high, and speed is favored over size.

Primary Attributes: Agility, power

Training: MMA, Capoeria, Muay Thai boxing, Tai Kwon Do

Real life example:Georges St. Pierre (MMA fighter).

Druid

Lego Druid

Druids are one with nature.

Oftentimes consuming a plant-only diet, they specialize in being one with themselves, finding balance in everything.  These peaceful folk spend a majority of their time training in the arts of yoga, meditation, and tai chi.  Strength training is only done if necessary, as  most druids aren’t interested in massive muscles or explosive power.  Druids also follow a minimalist diet, high in vegetables, fruits, and nuts.  Some eat meat, but only enough to get sufficient protein.  Processed foods are the enemy.

Primary attributes: agility, flexibility

Training: meditation, yoga, tai chi

Real life example: Yogis, tai chi instructors

My Profession

Lego Berserker

I was born an elf (thin, tough to build muscle), and I want to be a Warrior/Ranger hybrid…let’s call it a Berzerker class?

I’m generally a pretty happy, calm, goofy guy.  But when I’m in training mode, I turn on berserker mode: I start foaming at the mouth, I walk around with this crazy look in my eye, and I push myself hard than I ever thought possible.

I focus on lift like squats, deadlifts, presses, handstand push ups, pull ups, dips, and chin ups.  I vary my rep range and downtime between sets to build strength, power, and muscle size.  I mix in assassin (gymnastics) training and monk (capoeira) training whenever possible.

Sure, it’d be a much quicker path for me to become a scout (as I already have the body type), but I love getting stronger and training in things that I truly enjoy, so I picked a different direction.

Why?

Because I can, and because it makes me happy.

How About You?

Profession

Leave a comment with your current race and what profession you’d like to be. 

I picked six classes up above to keep things simple, but let me know if I left out one that should be in there.  Feel free to combine two classes like I did as well.  Just so we’re clear: all classes are gender-neutral, so you can be a female warrior or male druid.  There are no restrictions!

Once you have your profession selected, feel free to join us in the Nerd Fitness message boards (it’s free!) and join up with your guild!  

Want to take things a step further?  

Check out the Nerd Fitness Academy, where you can actually pick your class, complete quests, gain experience, and yes…level up!

So, I ask you: “What is your PROFESSION!?”

-Steve

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Photo: KennyMatic, Lego berserkerWarrior Lego, Scout Lego, Ranger Legos, Druid Lego, Lego Assassin, Lego Monk, Lego Profession

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  • Maverickmutt

    Human and would have to go with Ranger. I like to have strength when need but endurance and stamina. Plus always been fond of the Ranger class seeing as that was always my favorite to play

  • Jesse Call

    I’m definitely a dwarf. Average high, big ol’ belly and strength over endurance. I really like the idea of being an Assassin, and I want to mix it with Monk simply from a capoeira perspective. Probably very polar parts to the equation, but you gotta do you, right?

  • http://agilityfitessbristol.co.uk ccolville

    I am a human(neither large nor small, medium/low body fat) monk/ranger.
    I train capoeira regularly for many years now. I complete a good number of body weight training each week and train for kettlebell competitions and tend to have very little down time. I also work to develop flexibility and gymnastic movements
    My endurance is not impressive, basically medium as I focus on high intensity for several minutes but regularly cycle 4-6 miles

  • M

    I’m a human ranger/berserker/monk…

  • Emma Elizabeth Shelton

    I think myself as a paladin warrior (if that’s allowed) lol because I am 5ft 4 ins tall got a mommy tummy but like the idea of weight /strength training so warrior type that’s what I aim for anyway is this ok? I’m new to all this but I’ll give it a go

  • Kelly

    This is amazing! I wish I could actually become a member so I could do quests and stuff!
    I’d pick ranged based on my rpg experiences but I know my favourite workouts resemble Thai boxing routines so I’d probably be a monk. My first diary entry ever was about hitting some kid when I was 10 so I even have a cool back story ;D
    You should totally make a short quiz about what class you are (including bad ones like ogre or necromancer) and one that determines what class you want to be!

  • ShinHikari

    Elf who wants to be either a scout or a ranger..can someone help me build a workout plan?

  • Laura Coughlin

    I have not really played any RPG games before, so I’m not sure about my race. I was super-slim growing up, but not quite anymore. Only slightly overweight, though. Maybe I’m just a human? I’d like to be an Assasin/Druid hybrid, also.

  • imnotCrazy

    Not sure if I want to be a Ranger or an Assassin. I love the idea of Parkour, but can’t ACTUALLY imagine myself doing it. I do like running though. I miss it in fact and I’m working up to starting again. Maybe I should actually be a Scout. I do want to do some strength though. I want to be strong.
    As for my race though. The more I think about it, the more I think I’m a Gorilla

  • Viktor D Quinn

    loving this post, way to boost morale
    I’m an elf too – tall, thin, can just about do one pull-up – training to be an assassin (ranger or monk would be kinda cool, but I love the feel of rock climbing). That’s right, I’ll be just like lord Vetinari… maybe loose the skullcap, but that’s it :D

  • Kristi

    I think i’d have to be a troll, not the evil giant under the bridge kind but one o tha chubby adorable danish ones XD Like… a tall hobbit? (I do have the leg hair and eating habits to match…)

    I’d love to go for a mix of druid and ranger… (i think thats a Hunter class in Pathfinder at least!)
    I’d love to be able to go more of a distance and be able to bring something into play and do some damage! I’d also love to get rid of the terrible stress belly and be ale to tote around my own boobs… or at least stuff them into a bra or bikini easily accessible at most stores. Since I also have an ankle issue I want to build up my muscles there and in my knees to keep them stable. I have to remember to do the homework from PT every day!

  • Kristi

    I also GREATLY enjoy the Legos in this article XD

  • Aaron Capadagli

    I am a Warrior and looking to become the ultimate Warrior/Ranger (Beserker). I have always been stronger than most people my heightweight.

  • Madge

    I am definitely a Hobbit in pursuit of the Ranger/Druid dream. Thanks for the great article – it made me approach the thought process behind my fitness goals in a different manner.

  • http://www.sailorjulyxo.com/ Sailor July xo

    I’m 5’4″ and overweight, with little muscle, though I can hold my own with pure force. My goal is losing weight, eating better, building muscle, working on flexibility, boxing, marital arts, and yoga. I think I would fit in with a Monk-in-Training, and maybe Druid as a second class!

    I’m excited to try this!

  • Nate Simon

    I am totally a Druid or Ranger. I eat like a druid, have the body of a Ranger, and have the mental game of a Druid.

  • Nate Simon

    Good luck man, eat like a Druid

  • Nate Simon

    Try sprinting bare footed on a tread mill for 1 mile or so.

  • Rachel Lavigne

    5’2, 150 lbs, love home and food, I’m a hobbit :). I’d like to become a ranger, maybe move into a monk hybrid later.

  • Jacob McAdams

    Not sure. I’m really big (340 lbs.) but I’m 5’10. That’s tall for my family, but I don’t consider that to be “ogre” tall.

  • John DeLancy

    Much-oversized halfling, 5’10” and over 240# with a pronounced tummy. I don’t want any of those classes. I want to be either a wizard or a cleric. :)

  • Michaela M

    Probably a chubby little gnome. Not sure which sounds better: a Ranger or an Assassin.

  • Zeff

    Alright I’m sold on this. Great way of crossing the bridge between a nerd-life and a fit-life; something that society loves to wrongly point to as opposites. I plan on completely jumping on board next week!

    Current Me: Human Warrior/Scout. 5’10” and 205lbs with stalkier legs and wider than average shoulders. I have muscle on me, but it is lazily covered in about 25% body fat. I have always done a fair amount of lifting, but started running half marathons 3 years ago.

    Future Me: Human Ranger/Monk. I want to do more high intensity weight training and maximize my time in the gym. And getting into various forms of martial arts has always been a goal. I’d also love to fall below 200lbs (well-below at first, but climb back up with good muscle weight).

    Wish me luck!

  • blackopsmonster3

    I think I might be a pretty thin ogre. I am super tall, like 6′ 4″, and 190 lbs. I have a pretty short torso, but extremely long legs and arms. I have some decent muscle, but like Zeff, it is covered by a body fat percentage of 18%. I want to be a ranger/assassin hybrid because those appeal to me the most, especially since I prefer mobility over pure strength and I play soccer. Trying to get that body fat percentage down is difficult with weight training almost everyday, requiring a ton of calories, with breaks on the weekends. Anyone have tips?

  • makki

    I’d like to be a ranger as well. it’s going to take some time but hopefully I’ll get there

  • Govind

    I would be Jabba class. :P Losing weight though(18 kgs down so far)! :D

  • Jkh

    I have no idea, what I am race wise(short and extremely easy for me to put on weight{around the gut}), but thinking about going warrior, maybe a level or two in scout/ranger….

  • Etonje

    Great share

    Best 3 weeks diet

  • NightNurse

    A total Dwarven Momma here. I am short and stocky. Always, have been and probably always will be. I’m mean and deadly over SHORT distances. I can lift 400 pound patients, I can change diapers from infant to infinite.

    However, my husband and kids are all gnomish. Short, thin, fit. I need to drop a few to keep up with them on raids at the waterpark!

    http://th01.deviantart.net/fs70/PRE/f/2011/280/a/b/dwarf_female_by_justorangee-d3b73ln.jpg

  • Jonathan Hagler

    Ranger wanting to be an assassin warrior hybrid

  • Kaye Herl

    Hmm. Is there such as an overweight elf? Because I used to be really skinny, but then I started eating carbs. Anyhow, I’d like to become a monk/assassin! I love moving my entire body and have been a dancer for 7 years, so I’m pretty flexible (albeit kind of fat) but I just need to gain strength and stamina!

  • Arkuvus

    I’m a elf, who would like to be an assassin monk combo.

  • nicolejr

    Nice post, thank you for share

    370 Paleo Diet Recipe

  • CaribooJack

    I’m a soccer player. I’m guessing that because you need both to sprint and have the endurance for a 90-minute game, soccer players are most like Assassins?

  • Alex

    I think I would be considered a Human. 5’10” and 195 pounds. Pretty average dude. I have always found it easy to drop fat and build super strong and dense muscle. So I guess more on the Warrior side of the spectrum, but still have some endurance (I don’t want to get massively bulky, just VERY strong). Definitely paying attention to Staci for inspiration, because she really did humble me with her impressive lifting numbers. My goal by this time next year is to give her a run for her money when it comes to deadlifts! Coming for your title, Staci. ;)

  • Dennis

    Hi everyone! I’m brand new here. 6’0″ and I’m pushing 100 lbs overweight. I think when I’m in shape I’ll be more scout-ish. Reading the comments, I like the idea of Bard as well. I look forward to getting to know the community!

  • Tonesic

    I guess I’d honestly say I’m an ogre (which hurts lol) but I’m 6′ 1″ and 285 lbs. I build muscle fast so it would be SUPER easy for me to be a warrior, but I’m definitely really liking the Ranger class. I love weight training but I really enjoy a good run/ cardio session as well. I think once I get my weight down more I’m gonna go after the Assassin/Druid classes. Definitely sounds sounds like a challenge I’m ready for!

  • TheSmith3108

    Definitely an Ogre. Tall, broad, and lumbering. Not weak, but no shredded spartan warrior. My goal is to be one. A Ranger. Strong, quick and capable. A job needs doing or a game needs playing I want to be able to get it done. I’ll probably be stronger and slower than most, but we’ll blame that on genetics. I want to get my body weight and strength in balance. I’d throw in some warrior due to predisposition, no reason to shun talent.

  • Maxwell Havins

    I’m a human ranger/ assassin hybrid for sure. Is there anything more on this?

  • Alison Westwood

    I’ve always been a scout – I just want to be a better one :)

  • Gesine Azevedo

    I’m half assassin, half warrior. I like them and intend to be better in both!

  • Elizabeth

    I’m an elf, am currently what you could call a monk/ranger hybrid (running, krav maga twice a week, crossfit), but want to start doing parkour and free running and be less of a ranger and more of an assassin :) this is such a cool way to think of the different kinds of fitness!

  • David Jewett

    I’d like to be a scout/ranger/druid hybrid. I’m 51, and I’ve got a Clydesdale body; ie, it takes me a little effort to get moving, however, once I do get going I’m unstoppable. I gain muscle easily, but sometimes I got a little to eager and push too hard, hurting myself, then I’ll stop training altogether. I’m working on a slow tempering of my edge this go around. Since my rotator-cuffs are pretty worn I’m starting off my training with a lot of water workouts; swimming and treading water mostly to build shoulder joint stability and strength so that when I get back into the gym at my university in August I’ll be ready to push a little weight around. I only concentrate on today because if I get too far ahead of myself, again, I’ll burn myself out. Five days in and going strong!!!