How to Fight Your Food Addiction And Win.

I recently finished reading The End of Overeating by David Kessler, and it opened my eyes to a side of food that I didn’t know existed.

Although there were a few things in the book that I didn’t completely agree with (namely how fats were vilified along with sugar and sodium in ‘bad’ foods without explaining that some fats can be good), it was loaded with fantastic information and advice on how to break the mental chains that food can have over people.  It was certainly a great read.

Now, rather than just recap the book and present its information in a clear, concise manner, I’m going to recap it in the only way I know how: by nerding the sh** out of it and relating it to a universally nerd-loved concept:

The Matrix.

Yes, I know I’ve written extensively about the Matrix before, but I couldn’t help but draw all sorts of parallels to the movie once again while reading this book.  Allow me to explain:

  • People that are addicted to food have been put into a “prison for the mind,” just like people trapped in the Matrix, and are unaware its existence. Food decisions are often made without thought, stomachs are full and yet more snacks are consumed, and unhealthy meals become more and more appealing and rewarding with each passing day.
  • Most people (a huge portion of the American population anyway) are unaware of this ‘prison’ and continue to eat whatever they want, whenever they want.  Unfortunately ignorance isn’t bliss here, as it usually results in decreased quality of life and an early exit.
  • Agents exist to keep us within that prison. Agent Smith and his cohorts kept order in the Matrix, making sure people remained docile and in their prisons.  In our world, these agents are restaurant food and consumer product creators, who painstakingly test different combination of unhealthy ingredients to stimulate our senses to make us more addicted to their products.
  • You are Neo. You’re reading Nerd Fitness, which means you’re aware the Matrix (a food addiction) exists, and you want to get out.  Once you break free, with a little help from a dude named Morpheus, you can become the One, fight the Agents, and help inspire others to break free as well.
  • I am Morpheus.  Not only do I know Kung Fu (okay not really, but that would be awesome), but I’m here to open your eyes, set your mind free, and help you break out.  What you do after that is up to you.

Agents Suck

In the Matrix, Agent Smith and his agent buddies were part of a computer program designed to keep humans trapped while their bodies were harvested for energy; these Agents kept the peace by making sure nobody could break free.

In the real world, Agents exist, and they exist to keep us fat, addicted and complacent. They are scientists, marketers, product-testers, chefs, and entire companies who dedicate their existence to making unhealthy food that is more appetizing and addicting than ever before.  They spend countless hours testing out different ratios of sugar to fat to sodium to find the highest balance of ‘addiction,’ applying different layers of food on top of each other to create new sensations that envelope your senses and make you feel amazing…for about 20 minutes.

Not cool.

Here’s how it works: when you reward yourself with sugary candy, a high-calorie sodium-filled meal, or super-processed junk food, your body feels a little bit happy for a while.  However, after that happiness wears off (which happens quickly), your body returns to normal but craves that happy feeling again.  Each time you eat that particular type of food again, your body gets more and more trained to eat poorly to chase that happy feeling.  Yeah, it sounds like I’m talking about a drug addiction, but for some a food addiction isn’t too different.  Like crystal meth, these foods are designed to suck you in and not let go.

Now, don’t start blaming the agents for your predicament; they’re merely programs doing what they’re told.

As Matt points out in the comments: We can’t fault the [agents] for trying to make tasty foods; they are in business to make money.  When the public votes with their wallets and makes a dent in the bottom lines of the companies, then they will change what they offer.

If you look at a bowl of M&M’s and suddenly can’t think of anything else, then you know what I’m talking about.  It’s why you can eat an appetizer from Chili’s or Cheesecake Factory (which is often more calories than a normal meal should be), and then still eat an entire meal (which is way oversized): these meals have been scientifically-engineered to appeal to your emotions and reward your stomach.

Fortunately, that was the old you, the one who was trapped.

It’s time to take responsibility for your actions, learn from, take a deep breath, and break free.

Free Your Mind

Morpheus – Do you believe in fate, Neo?
Neo: No.
Morpheus: Why not?
Neo: ‘Cause I don’t like the idea that I’m not in control of my life.

We are creatures of habit, which means overeating and eating unhealthy foods are no longer choices made, but rather habits that exist within our mind from repetition over a long period of time. This is why you might instinctively reach for a pint of ice cream after work every day despite not being hungry – the initial reward of “oooooh ice cream makes me happy” kept you coming back until it became part of who you are.   Now, it might seem like you no longer have a choice in the matter, that you can’t function without that ice cream after work.

This is untrue.

You’re not a hopeless/helpless victim – no matter how strong the emotional pull of food may be, you ALWAYS have a choice.

That choice to say no and resist might only last half a second before your stomach takes over, but it does exist.  You are 100% in control of your life and your destiny.  Every choice you make, every day, has a chance to bring you closer to your goals or farther away from them.

That choice is 100% yours to make.

Now, just as you’ve conditioned your body to crave these foods automatically, you can eventually reverse the process and condition your body to resist bad food and eat properly automatically too.  It will not be easy and will require an incredible amount of willpower, but it absolutely can be done.

Just as Neo couldn’t ‘fly’ until he learned to believe in himself, you will not be able to break free of your bad food habits until you learn to believe in yourself and your own willpower. You’re not going on a diet, you’re making permanent, fundamental changes to your eating habits.

Train Your Mind

Thanks to some cool downloads, Neo learned Kung Fu, flying, and a bunch of other unique skills to successfully kick ass while in the Matrix. Now that you recognize the Matrix for what it is (a prison), it’s time for you to start learning some cool skills too.  Unfortunately, it will take more than a few minutes, and they’re not as cool as learning Kung Fu, but they’ll certainly help you live longer.

1) Be aware of the Matrix. Start to recognize the situations that cause you to overeat, where they come from, how you felt before you started eating, and so on.  Once you are aware of these scenarios and stimuli, it will be easier for you to start the next steps to fight back.

2) Change your habits NOW. If you drive home every day past a Burger King and you can’t help but stop for a Whopper Jr. with cheese, it’s time to pick a different way home.  If you come home from work and immediately plop down on the couch while eating a bag of chips, instead come home and IMMEDIATELY go for a brisk walk outside.  This is how you will start to break the rules and get out of the Matrix – NEW HEALTHY HABITS.

3) Re-condition your brain to recognize how much food is the “right amount.” Restaurants these days all give us meals that are twice the size they should be.   You probably eat more calories per day than you realize too.  Write down what you eat, check out how many calories are in the meals you’re used to eating and start training your brain to recognize how much food is right, and how much is too much.

Just because it’s in front of you doesn’t mean you need to eat it.

4) Focus your brain on the long term result, not the immediate pleasure. Yeah, eating a family-size bag of peanut M&Ms might make you feel good for half an hour, but you know deep down inside that long-term, this is a terrible idea.  Instead of focusing on the immediate pleasure of those M&Ms, concentrate on how good you will feel later on that day from having not eaten them, or how you’ll feel when people start to ask “Hey, have you lost weight?”

I used to love fast food. Now, the thought of a greasy, overprocessed, low-quality cheeseburger made and frozen in a factory four months ago sounds absolutely disgusting to me.  Create strong negative feelings towards these bad foods while embracing positive thoughts of NOT eating the bad foods, and those ‘chains’ that are holding you down will start to come loose.

5) Set rules that you WILL not break, removing emotion from the equation. Our brains and stomachs are tricky s.o.b.’s, and once you bring emotion into the equation, all bets are off.  Before your head and heart get involved, set rules before going to a restaurant or heading to work for the day.

  • I don’t eat French fries. Not even one.
  • I don’t drink soda. Nope.
  • I don’t eat candy. I know eating one will lead to many more.
  • I don’t eat while driving, only when sitting at a table.
  • I don’t eat at my desk while working, only for lunch in the break room.

When these rules are ingrained in your head, then your decision to avoid those foods will be easier because there’s no saying “oh just this one” because we know how quickly one fry, M&M, or potato skin can turn into the whole box/bag/plate. Set rules that cannot be broken under any circumstances.  Once you’ve gotten your behavior under control you can start introducing some of these foods back into your meals in moderation, but not until you’re out of the Matrix.

6) Have support from those around you. Neo had Trinity, Morpheus, Tank, Apoc, and Switch to help him on his journey to One-dom.  Who do you have helping you out on your quest to break free?  If you live with friends, let them know that you need help – ask them not to bring home crappy foods or suggest unhealthy restaurants when going out.  If you’re married with kids, work with your spouse to prepare good foods and set new habits with healthy cooking and healthy meals.

Fight Back and Break Free

Now that you have downloaded the proper mental skills above, it’s time to fight back.

Here’s how you’ll win:

  1. Step up. No more excuses, no more “woe is me,” no more “I can’t do this.”  You have a choice, you have control, you have a chance to turn your life around.  Start believing in yourself today.  And then get it done.
  2. Replace chaos with order. Restaurants, vending machines, and fast food places make their money off of your impulse buys, making up your mind for you.  That’s bull****.  Plan out your meals, read restaurant menus before going out to dinner and DO NOT DEVIATE FROM YOUR PLAN.
  3. Eat high protein, high fiber meals. According to the book, studies have shown that protein is the most satiating macronutrient, as it empties the stomach at 4 calories per minute.  Compare this with simple sugar, which empty the stomach at 10 calories per minute, which means you’ll get hungry much quicker.  Fiber-filled foods tend to be satisfying as well, because they’re assimilated by the body more slowly.  Lean meats, whole grains, vegetables, fruits, nuts.  Jump on it.
  4. When you fall down, get back up. Fighting these agents and trying to break out of the Matrix isn’t going to be easy, and you’ll definitely have some fights that you can’t win (on a long road trip and only fast food places are open, cousin’s wedding, Labor Day BBQ, etc.).  Remember, this is NOT a character flaw, but a biological challenge.  Who cares if you slipped up?  Dust yourself off, get back up, and keep at it.
  5. Train consistently. Exercising is a fantastic way to help you keep your weight off.  Not just because of the calories burned, but the constant “I’m getting healthy” mindset it instills.  You won’t stop to eat a dozen donuts if you just went to the gym, because you know you would quickly undo all of that hard work.
  6. Fight back. This is a battle you can win, but only one if you are dedicated to the cause.  Don’t let the Matrix keep you, don’t let the Agents win.  With this article, I am showing you the door.  You are the one who has to walk through it.

So what do you think: Can you really be addicted to food? Have you broken free before?  Are you struggling with it now?  Have any advice for your fellow freedom fighters?

Share your stories and thoughts in the comments!

-Steve

PS – Join the Nerd Fitness 28-Day Challenge on the NF Message boards! Whoever “wins” will get a free NF t-shirt when I get around to printing one.  Check out the boards for more details.

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  • jeff310

    Don't forget that aside from Agents who have a stake in keeping you in the Matrix (because they profit from it), there are also Cyphers out there as well. The worst part is that these are usually friends. People who give you a hard time about what you order when you all go out to eat together, or encourage you to justify a small slip up. They're not malicious about it, and they don't have a stake in the game – they just see you eating that white gruel that they eat in the real world, and they want a Bloomin Onion.

  • http://owenmclove.wordpress.com Owen

    This made me want M&M's (it seems I may have missed the point!) but seriously; I am struggling with this at the moment and for me preparation is the key: having lunch made for work, having meals planned out for the week, thinking about healthy snacks etc If the good stuff is there to begin with I don't go looking for anything else (which would almost certainly be bad stuff). There's much I want to change at the moment, but I think its wiser to change a couple of small things every week or so.

  • Chondi5

    'Uprising” by Muse is on my gym playlist. Every time I hear that song, I think of people battling weight and resisting the marketing by the industrial food machine. The music video playing in my head features people running on treadmills or outdoors, playing sports, eating fresh fruits and vegetables, and animals raised on pasture contrasted with pictures of processed foods, factory farmed animals, and logos from fast food restaurants, pesticide companies and giant food conglomerates.

    Of course the people win, morphing from overweight Wall-E style humans into sleek, fit awesomeness.

    “You will not control us. We will be victorious.”

  • Rebel Army Soldier

    An interesting FYI-

    It is a lot more filling to eat 2000 calories of healthy foods than it is to eat 2000 calories of crap food.

    I would do Micky D’s breakfast of 4 burritos and a large coke, followed by a snack of a king size snickers with a can of Dr. pepper, with a lunch of corn dogs and one of those ginormous cans of red bull. Dinner would be a trip for a foot long meatball sub, and I could NEVER forget my 10 pm Ice cream! Honestly, I’m afraid to count those calories.

    Now, I only drink water and green tea. I eat fruits, veggies, lean meats, and things that start with “All Natural” or “Whole Grain”. Lots of protein and fiber. I can’t eat more than about 1700 calories a day since I get so full! I’m still going through a bit of withdrawal quitting junk food cold turkey (Ha!). But my own Trinity (a.k.a. my wife) is there to help.

    The Agents can be defeated!

  • Megviking

    This post was both encouraging and saddening. I got news that I might be laid off from work today, and with a bunch of chips and cookies in the house from a birthday party yesterday…. I had a pretty bad day, food-wise. The worst I've had in a very long time, in fact. Tomorrow's another day, though, and I can do some exercise before I go to bed.

  • Tobywankenobi

    Excellent post! jeff310 makes a great point about the Cyphers. I have plenty of loved ones that are overweight and all they ever do is talk about getting in shape and eating right. And yet, every visit to the grocery store tells a different story.

    Its amazing how we associate food with being happy, but when we remember the most important or happiest times in our life, is it really the food that we remember? I hope not. Food is SO important, but not in the way we think it is when we eat poorly.

    I don't want life to just taste good, I want it to be good!

  • http://www.nerdfitness.com/2010/07/15/reader-spotlight-learn-how-matt-lost-157-pounds-in-one-year/ Matt

    I don't agree with a lot of this as it smacks of an excuse that it's not your fault you're shoveling in too much food.

    The scientists are against me! It's their fault that McD's fries taste so good! It's their fault that I ate so many of them that my face looks like a glazed doughnut!

    I ate pizza every day for lunch last week…the work cafeteria has been on a run where they have been making some great looking pizzas. Instead of eating 3 or 4 slices in 20 minutes like I would have in the past, I had 1 and enjoyed the hell out of it. It was a great compliment to the black beans and other things I had with it.

    Ultimately, it comes down to personal choices about what you eat. To continue the analogy of the Matrix, it's people acting like Cypher…their idea of bliss is ignorance. They don't want to know the truth, and more importantly, they go to great lengths to lie to themselves to keep it away.

    Cut the excuses, be accountable to someone (preferably yourself), and man up.

  • Quix

    Totally dig this post! A month ago, I gave up sugar. Not because I didn't feel like I was able to have a healthy balanced diet without a treat once in a while, but because I was dosing it out like a drug – I had to have a little every night. I've not had any for a month now, and I now realize how much better I feel. Just like before I lost weight – I had no idea how bad it was until I “took the red pill” and decided to get healthy.

  • Daniel

    Over the past 2 weeks I have completely given up on soda, on Fast Food, and on many other unhealthy foods like M&M's. This in itself was hard as I used to eat fast food 1 to 2 times a day and I would drink at least 2 Mountain Dews every day. The only food I haven't given up is microwave popcorn (it is my crack and I figure 1 food several times a week won't be a breaker). That being said I do have one problem that I would like suggestions for, me and my wife love to go out to eat at restaurants the 2 days a week she has off (she works 2nd shift and I work 1st), we especially love Chili's which I know has large portion sizes. Now what I would like to know is since my wife is not willing to change her diet should I just eat an appetizer such as boneless buffalo wings as my meal or should instead go with something like a grilled chicken meal. I know salads are a good option but I hate anything except lettuce in my salad so that won't work for me as I wouldn't be able to stick with it. Other then that I am looking forward to the results these changes will bring.

  • http://www.stevekamb.com Steve Kamb

    Dude, that's a great point about the Cyphers, and just like in the movie, they're usually your friends. Well said sir.

    -Steve

  • http://www.stevekamb.com Steve Kamb

    Absolutely Owen, you're going about this the right way – small changes can create big results over time. Stick with it!

    -Steve

  • http://www.stevekamb.com Steve Kamb

    That song is fantastic; that whole album is great (I'm a sucker for concept albums). Love “resistance” too.

    -Steve

  • http://www.stevekamb.com Steve Kamb

    Hey Meg!

    Tomorrow is another day, you're absolutely right. I just sent you an email

    -Steve

  • http://www.stevekamb.com Steve Kamb

    Hey Toby,

    Awesome point man. The happiest times of our lives aren't food related, so it's important to remember that those foods that promise 'happy times' aren't that happy.

    -Steve

  • http://www.stevekamb.com Steve Kamb

    Hey Matt,

    Thanks for the comment dude, and I love the debate. I think you make a lot of great points; I also think that you're a guy with incredible willpower who pretty just decided to take care of business and never look back. I've seen many people who try to lose weight, have a bad day, get depressed and down on themselves for being weak, which starts a vicious cycle.

    I think it's absolutely important to take responsibility for your actions and get things done, but it's also important to note that these industries are built to suck us in in many different ways (and they have). I'm not saying it's not our fault, as they're just giving us more and more of what they want, but I can see both sides of the coin.

    Definitely food for thought (see what I did there?)

    -Steve

  • http://twitter.com/livefitblog Greg Hayes

    Love the post, and the Cyphers are the most insidious. When I started my weight loss journey, both my wife and mom kept trying to tell me I was overdoing it. It's been a few years now, and they've followed suit.

  • http://joelrunyon.com/two3 Joel Runyon | [BIT]

    Best name ever.

  • http://joelrunyon.com/two3 Joel Runyon | [BIT]

    Dude,

    I suck at Nutrition. Like suck suck suck suck suck at nutrition.. I’ve been lucky to have a good metabolism and get away with things fairly easily, but now that I’m training for triathlons, I’ve gotta be a lot more aware of how food is affecting my performance. I’m gonna be stepping it up this month. 28day challenge? It's on.

  • http://www.nerdfitness.com/2010/07/15/reader-spotlight-learn-how-matt-lost-157-pounds-in-one-year/ Matt

    I'm no different than anyone else who decided to lose weight. Visit any weightloss forum and you won't have to look beyond the most recent dozen or so posts to find a thread about called something like “My husband/wife/parents/GF/BF/kids/mailman is sabotaging me!” At some point, you have to take ownership of your issues.

    I can't fault the food companies for trying to make tasty foods…they are in business to make money. When the public votes with their wallets and makes a dent in the bottom lines of the companies, then they will change what they offer.

  • http://www.stevekamb.com Steve Kamb

    Well said man, and hopefully we WILL start to make votes with our wallets and actually star to eat/live better.

    -Steve

  • Suse

    This is a very good post steve…. can you believe I've never really understood what the matrix was all about until now!!! The key is willpower… and for the life of me I cant figure out how you get it or if you get it, how you keep it… it is an intangible for sure!

  • http://www.stevekamb.com Steve Kamb

    Amen!

    Well said sir. 2000 calories of GREAT food fills you up so much.

    -Steve

  • http://www.nerdfitness.com/2010/07/15/reader-spotlight-learn-how-matt-lost-157-pounds-in-one-year/ Matt

    It will be tough…they could come out tomorrow and say that the secret ingredient of buffalo wings is the tears of orphans, and I'd still eat them.

  • http://www.stevekamb.com Steve Kamb

    And then you can wash it down with an ice cold beer, brewed with the insides of dead baby seals.

    -S

  • http://cnandbolts.wordpress.com/ Crowbeak

    If your wife is willing to eat leftovers, why not stick to eating, say, half of the food they give you? Pick something she doesn't mind eating, and she has lunch for the next day.

  • http://cnandbolts.wordpress.com/ Crowbeak

    I only started on the high-protein, low-carb idea recently. One day, I didn't really feel like cooking, so I decided to forget watching what I eat for a day, be lazy, and eat mostly pasta cooked in the microwave. It was less delicious than I remembered and I had to eat more to keep from getting hungry. As time has carried on, I've even found that I have less desire to eat foods that are nothing but carbs. I'm thoroughly enjoying eggs for breakfast, a smoothie for lunch, and something with lots of meat in it for dinner. They have better flavor than bread and pasta and the like.

    There's no way in hades I'm givin' up rice, though. BUT… things like meat and eggs go really well with rice. :D So I just eat LESS rice.

  • http://twitter.com/billrafferty Bill Rafferty

    This post hits VERY close to home for me. I have a family member who is a self-admitted food addict. No matter what they try, they return to the same bad habits time and again. The Agents have them in their talons and just won't let go. And the worst part in my mind is…I'm the Cypher. I realize that I am a complete enabler but all I want is for them to be happy, and that is what does it for them. I exercise and watch my calorie intake and try to be the example, but when I'm asked I get them whatever they want. It makes me sad and and angry at myself. They've gone so far as to have WLS, and it helped but the mental aspect is still there and I'm not sure what we can do to combat it. I don't want to be the Cypher, and I can't let the Agents win. We'll keep trying until we're out of the Matrix and back into the real world.

  • http://www.halfofjess.com Jess

    Aw YEAH. Matrix post, LOVE it. Anyway, I think you can be addicted to food, more mentally than physically. It's like with all addiction. It's a mental comfort, something you resort to when you're down.

    Most obese people turn to food to eat their feelings away, to numb their thoughts and pain, whatever it may be. So that addiction is an addiction to comfort. Food makes you feel good, even if for only a few minutes. And you actually need food to survive, unlike cocaine and heroin.

    I do go through some senseless eating at times, and then I snap out of it by not beating myself up. I realize that hey, it's one meal. Hey, it's ONE day in ONE year for the rest of my life. It ISN'T the rest of my life. And that realization sets me free because I don't eat more to consume my guilt.

    I realize that one cookie, even 10 cookies, will not undo all my hard work. It will not make me gain 10 real pounds overnight. And with that realization, I am armed against the Agents – my internal guilt.

  • http://erintakescontrol.wordpress.com/ Erin

    I love it when you “nerd the sh*t” out of things…and this hits home right now…

    Getting rid of the Agents in my house was the first step waywayway back when. I need to go through and do that again…my boyfriend has a stash of Diet Mountain Dew (his poison). Diet Dew used to be my poison, too – I find myself thinking about it obsessively once in awhile – I've even been drinking some. Ok, alot. I can't purge it from the house, because he'd kill me, but I need to get a grip on the obsession. There is emotion attached to soda, so I need to embrace this mantra – “I don’t drink soda. Nope.” I think that needs to go on a Post-It note. It is going on a Post-It note…

  • 63bus

    On the topic of Pizza: Someone told me once that eating a large piece of pizza is equivalent to eating a sandwich. So eating 4 pieces is 4 sandwiches. That cured me of ever wanting more than 1 large piece. I never even verified if it was true but I'm sure the calories are similar.

    Along with the fact that making my own Boboli pizza with chicken and veggies just tastes so much better than anything from any store or restaurant.

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  • Yasi

    Great post. I’ve lost 128 pounds, and ended up gaining back 5 because I got tired of fighting Agents, downloading activity programs and eating protoplasmic slop. Still 60 pounds left, phonebooth out of this hellhole barely around the corner and it seems like there are Agents are everywhere. I have Cyphers in my life as well, but none greater than myself at times. Still, I’m determined to realize my full potential. I wanted to see how deep the rabbit hole goes, so why stop now? I AM the One.

  • Ank

    Thank you!! You gave me: power, ambition, energy, support.

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  • Joemaynard68

    Excellent analogy comparing our modern diet, food delivery system to the matrix. I’ve been clean and sobor of alcohol/opiates for two years Now working the 12 steps. But giving up sugary, fatty foods has proven more difficult. I don’t at all blame the food industry but they have designed the perfect addictive combination of fat/sugar. It’s up to me to wake up and come out of the matrix!

  • nonnie

    The Cyphers of the world is what gets me all the time.  I do tremendously well on my own.  I went from 350 to 210 within a year and 2 months.  Some exercise but most of it was just getting completely away from junk food.  Just quit cold turkey, was hard, but through strict selective shopping and avoiding social events I managed to do that.  Met the woman of my dreams and now I’m ballooning up again.  I know I am to blame but it is so hard to find a way around not eating.  She comes from a family that ate big meals, three times a day, and snacks in between.  And her family can eat and never gain a pound but I’m not like that.  I have three slices of pizza and boom two pounds added the next day.  I try explaining my situation to her but it isn’t working.  Everytime, it comes to the same arguement.  “You don’t love me” if I don’t eat as much as she thinks I should.  You’d think to them love is expressed strictly through cooking, and how much of her food you indulge. 
    I love her but I also love the way I was several months ago.  I am now needing to go buy bigger clothes again because I just can’t fit into the size I got down to any more.  I think, in the long run, as much as I love her I got to leave her.  Even after all this time she is showing no compromise, its show me you love my by eating everything i cook for you.  I hate this I can literally feel the skin on my thighs and stomach getting tighter, I find myself crying most times.  Yes I’m a man and I admit I cry for this. 
    She always uses the phrase “it doesn’t matter how fat you are I’ll always love you” but I think its time that I tell her that “it doesn’t matter if she loves me no matter how fat I am but its the fact that I can’t love myself being fat”. 
    I think it’s time I take my life back before it get too far out of control again.  I wish life was easier than this.

  • Dkc2011

    I have accepted that I cannot handle food and I am better off using abstinence as a tool until I learn to take back control of my life and have the confidence to say no. X

  • Vera

    When you linked Matrix to food, it made perfect sense!But I dont have strengths of my own! I am not an overeater-just one boiled egg and I am full!! I dont like junk food! I dont eat chips nor pizza! I dont eat ice cream nor cakes nor candies! I dont like bread! I dont drink carbonated drinks, not even any type of alcohol! Not even wine! I am free from all tempting foods you might know in the world! and I can go without food for as along as I WANT! BUT!…… I have a very strange addiction that pulls me to the grave while i watch!…. Steve, I CHEW RAW RICE like a rat!! I can chew up to 500g in a day! My daily average stands at 250g! If I fight and abstain for a week, then next week I will compensate! As I chew rice, I take a lot of water and boiled veggies! I love steamed veggies!But the  RICE!!! I have tried ot be willful, but MH! Nothing! But let me try again! To me chewing raw rice (i.e. pre-boiled long grains then dried) is like smoking!

  • Stevecoldsteve

    my name is steve and I like the matrix too. I am addicted to food. Not good for being a helicopter instructor. FUCK FOOD!

  • Eddie

    Pretty good. Keep it going! You can’t love someone else before you love yourself!

  • didoodet

    Oh my god get out how can she say she loves you if she wants you to be fat and unhealthy

  • Live4health101

    She’s NOT the right one for you! LEAVE! You somehow attracted her into your life based on some “sub-conscious” beliefs you still had about yourself. If you stay true to yourself you really WILL find the woman of your dreams!

  • Liv

    This is quite possibly the most awesome thing I have ever read! Thanks so much for sharing!

  • Shreya

    It’s a skill to sound matter of fact without being rude or judgmental. Thank you. This really puts things in perspective. It’s not like we don’t know all of this already but we all need to be told it from time to time.

  • food addiction

    Nicely done keep it up.

  • Elizabeth

    excellent article thank you. shared it with several people even as I was reading it.

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  • Jean Margaret Walker

    I know this article is older, but I certainly enjoyed it just now. Great writing, great parallelism… (if that’s a word). Thanks!!!

  • Bethany

    Thanks for writing this. I have been struggling with this my entire life. Although I am only 28 I’ve been either overweight or obese (a brief 3 year period). While now I am closer to my weight goal than I was before, I feel like the last 20-30 pounds are the hardest because of food. I’m lifting and running and starving constantly. i have friends and family that are like the cyphers. They always say “Oh you just ran 8 miles, let’s go have pizza! You earned it!” I hate that phrase. You earned what? The ability to eat more crap? I am not sure if this will be enough of a kick in the pants to be more strict but I am really tired of being the girl in pants on the beach.