I signed up for another 5k race the other day.
After my last one (where I got destroyed by a 10-year old girl), I decided that was enough humiliation for the year. That all changed when I came across the greatest thing ever: The Warrior Dash. Essentially, it’s a 5k race through the woods of Georgia, complete with kick-ass obstacles, tons of mud, warrior helmets, live music, and free beer. It takes place on May 22nd in Moutain City, GA. It’s essentially like a live-action version of MXC: Don’t Get Elminated!
This is how they tell you to train:
- Day one: run as far as you can. Go home. Day two: do the same thing.
- Find the dirtiest pond in your neighborhood and snorkel in it – in your slippers, without goggles.
- Practice your climbing and crawling skills at your local jungle gym. Ignore the small children and parental glares.
- Do not shower or shave for weeks in order to obtain a true Warrior look.
Greatest. Race. Ever. Now, as I perused the site looking for more information, I found out that costumes were not only acceptable, but strongly encouraged. A light bulb went off in my head. I immediately emailed my group of friends and convinced a whole bunch of them to dress up in costume with me and run this thing (not that it took much convincing).
So, why are we all going to dress up like idiots, you ask?
Because this is the perfect opportunity for the Nerd Fitness Community to point and laugh at Steve and his friends while also raising money for a really good cause! I’m in the process of selecting a great charity to partner with, getting the framework set up, handling the process and financial garbage, etc. If you have any recommendations for a great cause – preferably something with kids – or if you’ve done anything like this before and you have any advice please email me at firstname.lastname@example.org. I’m kind of winging it here.
This is where you come in. I’ve recruited my friends to wear increasingly more ridiculous costumes based on how much money we raise for the cause. The amounts and the charity haven’t been confirmed yet, but I have a few weeks before I officially launch this thing. In the meantime, I would LOVE to hear your ideas on what the heck we can wear for costumes. There’s 14 of us, I think nine dudes and five chicks.
These are just the first few ideas that have been tossed around:
Braveheart: Kilts (hopefully not free-balling it), warpaint, wigs and beards. Bagpipes optional.
300: Speedos, capes, beards, hopefully not shaved chests, lots of war cries. Maybe spears.
Super Heroes: Superman, Wonder Woman, The Flash, Batman, etc. Lots of spandex.
Mortal Kombat: Johnny Cage, Scorpion, Raiden, Sub-Zero. No fatalities though.
Ninja Turtles: Four turtles, April O’Neil, Krang, Bebop and Rocksteady, Shredder, Splinter. Kowabunga!
Smurfs: White pants, white hats, lots of blue paint. We’ll draw straws for Gargamel.
Oompah-Loompahs: What more needs to be said? We’ll just buy a vat of Jersey Shore self-tanner.
THESE ARE ONLY EXAMPLES. I want to know what you’re thinking. The way I see it, every time we hit a new milestone (say, 1000 bucks – Braveheart, then 2000 bucks – Ninja Turtles, etc.), we’ll move up to a more awesome/insane costume. Hopefully this will result in some hilarious costumes, great pictures, funny montage videos (hell yes I’m making a montage), and a lot of money for a really good cause.
What say you? What would you like to see our group of schmucks wearing when we crawl through mud and jump in lakes? All ideas are welcome; I’ll rank them by ridiculousness and then assign dollar values. Let’s have some fun and do something great for kids who really need it.
Once I get everything organized, expect an official announcement in a few weeks after this next round of cruises.
By the way, we’re in the 11AM wave and we’ll be camping out for the weekend, so make sure you let me know if you’ll be at the event too!
All photos are linked to their sources. Please let me know if you’d like me to take them down.