Help Me Make a Complete Ass of Myself – It’s for a Good Cause.

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I signed up for another 5k race the other day.

After my last one (where I got destroyed by a 10-year old girl), I decided that was enough humiliation for the year.  That all changed when I came across the greatest thing ever: The Warrior Dash. Essentially, it’s a 5k race through the woods of Georgia, complete with kick-ass obstacles, tons of mud, warrior helmets, live music, and free beer.  It takes place on May 22nd in Moutain City, GA.  It’s essentially like a live-action version of MXC: Don’t Get Elminated!

This is how they tell you to train:

  1. Day one: run as far as you can. Go home. Day two: do the same thing.
  2. Find the dirtiest pond in your neighborhood and snorkel in it – in your slippers, without goggles.
  3. Practice your climbing and crawling skills at your local jungle gym.  Ignore the small children and parental glares.
  4. Do not shower or shave for weeks in order to obtain a true Warrior look.

Greatest. Race. Ever. Now, as I perused the site looking for more information, I found out that costumes were not only acceptable, but strongly encouraged.  A light bulb went off in my head.  I immediately emailed my group of friends and convinced a whole bunch of them to dress up in costume with me and run this thing (not that it took much convincing).

So, why are we all going to dress up like idiots, you ask?

Because this is the perfect opportunity for the Nerd Fitness Community to point and laugh at Steve and his friends while also raising money for a really good cause!  I’m in the process of selecting a great charity to partner with, getting the framework set up, handling the process and financial garbage, etc.  If you have any recommendations for a great cause – preferably something with kids – or if you’ve done anything like this before and you have any advice please email me at  I’m kind of winging it here.

This is where you come in. I’ve recruited my friends to wear increasingly more ridiculous costumes based on how much money we raise for the cause.  The amounts and the charity haven’t been confirmed yet, but I have a few weeks before I officially launch this thing.  In the meantime, I would LOVE to hear your ideas on what the heck we can wear for costumes.  There’s 14 of us, I think nine dudes and five chicks.

These are just the first few ideas that have been tossed around:

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Braveheart: Kilts (hopefully not free-balling it), warpaint, wigs and beards. Bagpipes optional.

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300: Speedos, capes, beards, hopefully not shaved chests, lots of war cries. Maybe spears.

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Super Heroes: Superman, Wonder Woman, The Flash, Batman, etc.  Lots of spandex.

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Mortal Kombat: Johnny Cage, Scorpion, Raiden, Sub-Zero. No fatalities though.

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Ninja Turtles: Four turtles, April O’Neil, Krang, Bebop and Rocksteady, Shredder, Splinter. Kowabunga!

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Smurfs: White pants, white hats, lots of blue paint.  We’ll draw straws for Gargamel.

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Oompah-Loompahs: What more needs to be said? We’ll just buy a vat of Jersey Shore self-tanner.

THESE ARE ONLY EXAMPLES.  I want to know what you’re thinking.  The way I see it, every time we hit a new milestone (say, 1000 bucks – Braveheart, then 2000 bucks – Ninja Turtles, etc.), we’ll move up to a more awesome/insane costume.  Hopefully this will result in some hilarious costumes, great pictures, funny montage videos (hell yes I’m making a montage), and a lot of money for a really good cause.

What say you? What would you like to see our group of schmucks wearing when we crawl through mud and jump in lakes?  All ideas are welcome; I’ll rank them by ridiculousness and then assign dollar values.  Let’s have some fun and do something great for kids who really need it.

Once I get everything organized, expect an official announcement in a few weeks after this next round of cruises.

By the way, we’re in the 11AM wave and we’ll be camping out for the weekend, so make sure you let me know if you’ll be at the event too!



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  • I like your idea to up the rediculous w/ the amount of money, but the way I see it you should go Ninja Turtles.

    Or Snorks…anyone can do Ninja Turtles or Smurfs, but the Snorks never seem to get the appreciation they deserve.

    This thing is coming to Maryland in October, and I would frickin' LOVE to do it. I'm a bit apprehensive because its happening the weekend before the Baltimore Marathon (which I'm running…A.C.K!). We'll see though, maybe I'll get some initiative and travel for one of the other ones 😛

    Go Snorks!

  • Liz

    I sent you an email, but am commenting also to ask that you seriously consider raising funds for an organization called MitoAction (more information available at

    As for costumes — don't forget the Fruit of the Loom guys.

  • Awesome idea. I think you should raise money for children with special needs. If you're looking to raise money to fight Autism, check out This looks awesome. Keep up the good work.

  • Brody

    4 words. Full Body Spandex Suits. . I'll be at the Warrior Dash as well with my kickball team. We'll be the people wearing orange and sucking wind in the 2:00 wave.

    I'll be sure to donate when you guys decide on a charity. Good luck!

  • Chris Kurdziel

    I cannot wait to dress up as Krang.

  • Aled25

    300 would be good as they are 'Warriors'. Although the ladies' costumes would be interesting then! You could go as American footballers (padding optional).

  • trippcrosby

    I'm in.

  • Kevin

    Steve –

    I will donate to the cause if you choose to wear snuggies only. Oh, and czech out


  • JFreedom

    Lay out the rules and the charity and you've got 100% participation from me.

  • Jacob Lee

    Top donation costume: Winnie the Pooh characters.

  • Tom Schreiner

    Hi Steve. Hello to everyone else as well. I loved the article. Am I the old new guy? I'm 39 and would probably get dusted in this race but would love to be there if I could. I'm in Atlanta at the moment but have no idea where I'll be tommorrow. You guys/gals have fun.

  • beth

    I sent you an email with the address, steve@nerdfitness…..but it came back…

  • NerdFitness

    Hey Beth!

    Had an error in my hyperlink, but i fixed it. Thanks for pointing that
    out. And i got your email, i'll email you back later on!

    -NF Steve

  • NerdFitness

    Hahahahahaha oh lord. Think of how gross we'll look at the end after being
    covered in mud.


    2010/2/4 Disqus <>

  • NerdFitness

    Green man! You have to be a Always Sunny in Philadelphia fan, right?

    -NF Steve

  • begleysm

    Just to confirm Stevo isn't a big liar. I'll be one of the “schmucks” dressing as you guys donate more and more money to the kiddies!

    I vote for 300 or Braveheart! I need a good excuse to grow grizzlier beard!

  • Samantha

    If you're looking to help kids, you can't go wrong with Make A Wish,

  • I have to agree with either Brody and the full body spandex suits or Steve and the Snorks…. either way sounds like a great idea… I'm making kilts out of pop tabs for my friends and I. We're running the 11:30 wave of the Northeast Warrior Dash in NY in Sept. Haven't really worked out the rest of the details. We'll definitely be donating once you figure out the charity and what not. All the best!

  • Ron

    I'm more of a Dayman myself.

    AaaaAAAAaaaahh…. (master of the night, man!)


  • Endorphin_Dude

    You have aroused my curiosity. This is totally up my alley. I'm seriously considering flying out to Georgia for this…

  • Heather

    Some ideas for dressing up:

    FEMALE super heroes

    Xena Warrior Princesses—complete with wigs and tits if you could swing it

    Warner Brothers cartoon characters

    I think you guys should go commando under those kilts

    This sounds like a great idea! Good luck to all y'all!

  • Brody

    Ha, you know it!

  • NerdFitness

    Hey Brody!

    Thanks for the comment man, and thanks for the shout out on twitter today.
    You gotta be a “Always Sunny in Philadelphia” fan if you're promoting green
    man. I wanted to be green man for halloween two years back but the costumes
    were sold out everywhere.

    I saw that you're a graphic designer here in ATL, do you have a
    site/portfolio? what kind of work do you normally do?


  • NerdFitness

    The episode where the did the Nightman Cometh was maybe the funniest hour of television I have ever seen.

  • NerdFitness


    What's up man? How are the marathons and half-marathons going? I'll email you later on.

    -NF Steve

  • NerdFitness

    Hahahah, gee Heather, thanks for the suggestions 🙂

    I don't think I want to go commando though. I hear there's barb-wire on this course.


  • NerdFitness

    Hahahah, i'm just picturing 15 green men covered in mud right now. hilarious.


  • NerdFitness

    Thanks for the suggestions Samantha, looks like I have quite a bout to think about!

    -NF STeve

  • Melissa

    great article and this sounds like an incredible event – I've talked about 10 friends into doing it with me. I've been running 5ks for about a year now, but am working up to a half marathon by the end of the year – I figure this will give me some extra motivation to train harder and have fun at the same time

  • MaTT

    I'd totally go as zombies…or Robin Hood: Men in Tights (TIGHT tights) :P.

  • NerdFitness


    I freaking LOVE Robin Hood: Men in Tights. Hey nanny nanny and a ho ho ho! Just a classic all around. That would be hysterical.


  • NerdFitness

    That is awesome Melissa! Are you doing the one in ATL? I'll email you.


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    Nothing would say Nerd Fitness like stormtroopers, Darth Vader and Boba Fett!

  • dawsy

    Nothing would say Nerd Fitness like stormtroopers, Darth Vader and Boba Fett!

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  • xenon481

    We went to the Dallas Warrior Dash as the Ninja Turtles:

  • This is really great that you are trying to be philanthropic with a fun side to it! I'll be there with a crew running on Sunday. I like the concept of your site, and will be catching up on it when I get back from Warrior Dash this weekend. We have a small crew coming up from Orlando, FL.

  • You look like a million dollars.

  • Fahadi0911

    I loved to be slim and love cardio and HIIT both and lost 26 kg’s in 7 months all naturally and i enjoyed doing it but something went wrong and that was that I totally got out of shape, it seems as if i am a liquid, whatever i wear i get the shape of that piece of cloth and i am hating it, i have no shape, i am still soft and flabby so to avoid this mistake i would suggest HIIT+cardio+weight training, because weight training brings you in shape and whats wrong if you burn a few number of extra calories so my suggestiom is doing all the three together…. 🙂 do weight training even if you dont want to grow big, then just lift light weights with 12-18 reps each set, low weightswith more reps is most efficient way to loose weight and it also keeps you in good shape, thats another story if you want to get bigger than lift heavy weights with 8 reps but first loose fat then start growing bigger….