Unless you can transform into a mac truck and fight the Deceptacons, or you’re a habit building robot, I don’t want to hear it.
Every commercial gym in America is LOADED with treadmills, ellipticals, and dozens of weight lifting machines (aimed to hit every individual muscle you have). Yet, you may struggle to find the small free weight section buried the back of the gym.
For most people starting out, they finish up with their cardio/treadmill/elliptical workout, and then wander over to the machines. Why? Because they’re the easiest thing to get started with…at least they look like the safest way to lift weights. Unfortunately, the opposite is true. Plus, it’s only a matter of time before these machines that look like medieval torture devices become self aware and take over.
I long for a weight machine free future, and it starts by informing people about the wool that has been pulled over their eyes: machines do not keep you safe. Far from it
By the end of today, I hope you’ll be convinced that machines are dangerous, ineffective, and a waste of your time. You are Neo; we are the revolution, and machines are going down.
Note: If you have a medical condition or injury the requires you to use machines for a particular reason, continue following your prescribed workout from your doctor or physical therapist.
Put on Bulls on Parade and let’s get started!
Why Machines Suck
I can already see the confusion on your face, like this South African ostrich here.
Seriously, stop looking at me like that.
“But Steve, I thought machines WERE safe. I mean, it allows you to pick up heavier weight than you could otherwise, and there’s no way you can drop it on yourself. It only allows you to move the weight in the direction it’s supposed to go!”
Machines force your muscles and joints to move in an unnatural way.
When using a machine, your body is forced to move a weight on a single plane – up and down or left and right. The problem is, your body doesn’t move that way! It wants to move slightly up and over, or up and then over, or over and then up. Machines don’t let you do this, growing your muscles in an imbalanced way and putting your body, joints, spine in compromising positions.
On top of that, machines lure you into a false sense of security because they do all of the stabilization work for you. Sounds like a good thing, until you have to use those muscles in a very particular situation I like to call “reality.”
When bending down to pick up your kid, grabbing groceries from the back of your car, boxing a kangaroo, or wrestling a grizzly bear for fun, your body is using wayyyy more than just one muscle at a time. It’s using dozens and dozens of muscles working in conjunction to get things done. But since you’ve kept the training wheels on your muscles for so long, they don’t know how to work in unison, so you pull a muscle.
My favorite example: Some places will tell you that a Smith Machine is the only safe way to squat to protect your back. In this nerd’s humble opinion, a smith machine is the perfect way to DESTROY your back and compress your spine, as it only allows you to move directly up and down. A real squat, a basic day to day and fundamental movement, doesn’t work like that.
Need more of a nudge? If you’re trying to lose weight, strength training with weights (or body weight exercises) is far more effective at burning calories than using machines. Why get less with more, when you can get more with less?
Allow me to explain…
How to transition away from weight machines
So we’ve already identified that robots are bad. Bad robot!
The next step is to free your mind, free your workouts, and learn the truth:
Specialization is for professional bodybuilders, doctors, and robots.
You need to stop thinking in terms of individual body parts. No more “this exercise works my inner thighs,” “this one works my bicep from this angle,” and “this one hits one of the three heads of my triceps.” Unless you’re an elite body builder, you do not need to concern yourself with this style of training. It’s excessive and inefficient. Two things I hate.
Instead, you gotta think big and simple.
Imagine you’re listening a symphony of Legend of Zelda or Star Wars music. Do you want to hear the tubas play their part for one song, and then the violins for the next song, and then the drums for the one after that? Hell no, you want them all to play together so you can hear Gerudo Valley or Binary Sunset – that’s what creates the epicness of the music.
Strength training is no different. Your body is a symphony, and getting each ‘instrument’ to play separately is doing you a great disservice.
So stop thinking separate body parts and instead ask yourself: “What exercises can I do that produce the same results as these machines, but with just one or two exercises?”
Great question, I knew you were smart. And good looking. And modest. Like me!
Let me show you.
Big free movements beat machines every time.
Let’s take a look at a typical machine circuit workout week, designed to target all of your muscles throughout the week:
- Monday – smith machine squat, hack squat, leg extension, leg curl, adductor, abductor, ab crunch, ab machine.
- Tuesday – chest press, incline chest press, incline flys, chest cable flys, ab crunch, bicycles, reverse ab crunch.
- Wednesday – lat pull down, back machine row, bicep curl, machine cable bicep curl, hammer curl, more ab work.
- Thursday – shoulder press, shoulder raises, lateral shoulder raises, triceps extension, overhead cable triceps extension, more ab work.
Whew, I’m exhausted from just typing all that.
Instead of that madness, I want you to think in terms of how your body moves.
Nearly every movement will fit into one or two categories: PUSH or PULL. If you are doing a particularly big basic lift or a body weight movement, completing a push or pull movement will recruit dozens and dozens of muscles from several muscle groups – not just your lower anterior _____.
Especially for newbies, you’ll benefit far more from working out your ENTIRE body each day just three days a week, compared to hitting five to six days of individual exercises. If you’re somebody that NEEDS to work out every day, spend your other two days attending a yoga class or going for a long walk (to Mordor, maybe?).
Why is it important to complete a full body workout?
By teaching your body to work in unison, you recruit so many more muscles and allow your body to function more as a single unit. This means you are more likely to stay healthy and safe, avoiding muscle pulls and other injuries due to imbalance or issues associated with weak stabilizer muscles. Combine this with proper healthy eating and you’re well on your way to burning fat, building muscle, and building a body you’re proud of.
On top of that, you never have to worry about missing a day and throwing off your schedule! You simply complete the next workout, because each workout works out the whole body! BOOYAH.
So, just what are these big movements and how can I create a workout around them?
Master your body weight first
I love body weight exercises, and soon you will too.
Although I spent probably a decade of my life as a gym rat, since starting a crazy travel schedule and most recently discovering my spinal condition, I’ve since switched almost exclusively to body weight exercises and don’t miss weights at all.
So, before you even start worrying about lifting weights, you should be able to dominate basic body weight movements first.
There’s just something primal, natural, and badass about being able to get freakishly strong without ever picking up a weight, am I right?
Just look at any gymnast, male or female – their bodies are built almost exclusively with body weight exercises.
So what are these basic movements?
- PUSH – Push Ups, Dips, Handstands
- PULL – Pull Ups, Body Rows
- LEGS (work both PUSH AND PULL) – Body weight squats, pistol squats, lunges, box jumps
That’s it. Pick one from each, and complete 2-4 sets of each exercise for 8-10 repetitions. Then, wait 48 hours, pick another one from each category and repeat. A full workout might look like:
- Monday: Squats, Push Ups, Body Rows
- Wednesday: Lunges, Handstands, Pull Ups
- Friday: Box Jumps, Dips, Body Rows
“But that’s too simple!” Don’t knock it ’til you try it. If it’s TOO easy, then make the exercises more difficult. Every exercise above has about a million different variations. When you can say “too easy” to 4 sets of one-hand push ups, one-hand pull ups, and one legged squats, then we can talk. But don’t just keep adding more and more reps! Once you can do more than 12 of something, up the difficulty!
“But those exercises are too difficult”: If the exercises are too tough (push ups and pull ups, maybe), follow the progression laid out in the links above until you CAN do pull ups.
“What about my abs?”: Your abs get a fantastic workout when you keep your core tight during your squats, push ups, and pull ups. If you want to do more, feel free to mix in some core work like planks or side planks.
Learn basic strength training
Now, if you ARE interested in proper strength training, I highly recommend you take it seriously.
Barbells and dumbbells are your friend. Yes, even if you’re a lady Rebel (Staci has proven that).
There are a handful of movements that you should learn, then simply focus on getting really strong with these exercises:
That’s it! Pick one from each group, do 3-6 sets of 3-8 reps (3-5 sets of 5 is a good place to start) for each, and then go home:
- Monday: Squats, Bench Press, Bent over Row
- Wednesday: Squats, Deadlift, Overhead Press
- Friday: Squats, Bench Press, Bent Over Row
That’s too many squats! Not according to Mark Rippetoe, the modern father of squats and author of the MUST READ Starting Strength. If you ever plan on picking up a weight in your life, buy this book right now. Seriously. I’ll wait. In my opinion, this is the best money you can spend on yourself if you’re going to lift weights. A close second? The Rebel Strength Guide 🙂
Don’t fear weights! And don’t fear the free weights section. Everybody back in there is too busy checking themselves out in the mirror, to pay attention to you. Every exercise above can be done with barbells or dumbbells, though for pure strength, I would recommend barbells.
Nobody cares how much you can lift! Seriously, whether you’re struggling to lift the bar or you can squat 400 pounds, nobody around you cares! So forget them. Do your workout and get out of there! Make sure you are following the rules of a Rebel working out in a commercial gym.
Focus on form: Start with just the bar and spend the time to get your form right! As you get stronger you can add more weight SLOWLY each week and build momentum. If you can afford it, hire a coach for a session or two and have them critique your form for the few exercises above.
But I don’t want to get too bulky or big, I want to lose weight/get stronger: Do the exact same workout as above. Just eat less. Seriously, your workout shouldn’t change whether you’re trying to build muscle or lose weight…that is 90% dependent on your diet. Lifting weights won’t make you bulky unless you are eating specifically to do so. This stuff isn’t exactly rocket science: eat more than you burn to gain weight, eat less to lose.
Putting it all together
Now, you can do ONLY weights or ONLY body weight exercises, but the optimal progress and balance comes when you combine the two!
The best example of this would be my friend Jim from BeastSkills (his workout here) – Jim works out his upper body with body weight/gymnastic movements, and works his lower body with squats and deadlifts – the two greatest weight exercises for weight loss, building muscle, or just pure strength.
Now, Jim is a complete beast (see what I did there?), so your workout probably won’t resemble his. That doesn’t mean you can’t do a healthy combination of body weight and weight training.
It’s also totally okay to slowly adjust your workout, just like with your diet. Pick ONE new exercise to learn each Monday.
Whatever you do, DO NOT be afraid the free weight section. Remember: 90% of the people back there will be doing bicep curls and looking at themselves in the mirror, so they won’t be worrying about you. Do your thing. Get better. Get stronger.
What else can I do to help you never sit down at a machine again?
What’s it going to take to get you strength training like a boss?
What other questions do you have?
ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED?! …ahem. Sorry.
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