It happened again.
I came home from coaching my son’s rec soccer game, ran up the stairs, and felt it instantly. My back seized and locked up.
And then that sinking feeling hit right away:
“Not again. I was doing so well.”
And I was doing well. This was about 2 years without a major flare-up, roughly 4x longer than my average through most of my 30s.
If you’ve followed me for a while, you know I’ve dealt with low back pain for over 20 years thanks to congenital spinal stenosis and previous injuries. So I’ve gotten pretty good at reading the warning signs so I know when I’ve pushed a little too hard and need to back off.
This time, I had noticed. I’d been careful. And it still happened.
But here’s what I want to share with you today.
When you’re in pain, or stuck, or feel like you fell off track – especially if it’s happened before – it is so easy to feel like this is how it’s going to be from now on. Forever.
I see it with my coaching clients all the time. Folks dealing with chronic pain or conditions like POTS or RA. But also folks dealing with tendonitis, or a tough week at work that wrecked their workout streak, or a stressful stretch that pulled them off track with food.
The thought sounds like:
“Here we go again. I just can’t keep this up.”
But that’s not true. It just feels true in the moment.
The evidence almost always says something different. And that’s exactly why we need help reframing our internal dialogue sometimes. Because left to its own devices, your brain will happily ignore every piece of evidence that doesn’t match the “I’m doomed” story it’s telling.
Here’s what I keep reminding myself (and what I’d tell you, too):
✅ You’re more of an expert on your situation than you realize.
By this point, you’ve found some things that help. Or, almost as valuable, you’ve found things that don’t help. Either way, the pool of unknowns is shrinking. That’s progress, even when it doesn’t feel like it.
For example, I know that I need to get short, repeated efforts of gentle movement in throughout the day to help manage my pain and restore function. But that there is no “magic” exercise that does it, and that what my body needs each day will vary, so I have to be patient while I figure out what will feel good today. Before, I would feel lost and overwhelmed by this idea. Now, I know I just need to go through the process.
✅ Every flare-up has taught me something.
Sometimes it’s physical (a movement to avoid, a movement that helps). Sometimes it’s mental (a story I keep telling myself that isn’t actually serving me). Sometimes, it’s just more empathy for others who deal with chronic pain and challenges. I try to walk away from each one with at least one new piece of the puzzle.
✅ You can’t rush it. You can’t force it.
This is the hardest one for me. I want a timeline. I think it gives me a sense of certainty and control when I’m feeling most vulnerable. But sometimes the most important step is surrendering to the process and refusing to pile guilt, fear, or anxiety on top of what’s already a tough week.
But “surrender” doesn’t mean “do nothing.”
You can’t rush the process, but you can always find your NAW – your Next Available Win.
Not the giant comeback plan. Not the “I’ll get back to 100% by next Monday” pressure. Just the next small thing you can do right now that interrupts the spiral.
For me, this week, the NAWs looked like:
- Getting on the heating pad
- Sending a message to my doctor
- Spending 5minutes on the floor doing some gentle movements
- Journaling out the spinning thoughts so they weren’t just rattling around in my head 😅
That’s it. A few small things. None of them “fixed” anything. But each one shifted me from being acted on by the situation to taking one small action inside it.
Your NAW will look different depending on what you’re navigating:
- Off track with food after a rough week? Your NAW might be jotting down an idea for your next meal, or falling back on a go-to meal when your time and energy are short.
- Missed a few workouts? Your NAW might be a 10-minute movement snack, not a full “I’ll do double tomorrow” comeback. (That almost always backfires.)
- In a mental spiral? Your NAW might be writing it down, talking to someone, or grabbing something simple from your Nourishment Menu.
The flare-up is the flare-up. The story you tell yourself about the flare-up – and the next small thing you choose to do – is where you actually have control.
So if you’re in a hard stretch right now, whether it’s pain, an injury, a derailed routine, or just a season where everything feels harder than it should – I know exactly how it feels.
This isn’t forever. You’ve come back before. You’ll come back again.
What’s your next available win? 💪
You got this.
– Coach Matt
P.S. If you’re navigating a flare-up or an injury, Coach Damien is someone on our team who I trust who works with folks on these things every day. Take our quick Coaching Quiz to see who’d be a good fit for you.
